"Every Day, Is A Personal Victory"
Every Day That I Stay Alive,
Every day that I Refuse To Kill Myself,
 Is My Own Poud Victory.  Looking that doctor
in the eyes, knowing he would have me kill myself,
asking him how long will I live, until im fifty?  Forty?
He said who knows, i might actually live to be seventy.
He said it like a merciful thing, like He might not kill me...
I was grateful, and I thanked him.  He Smiled like a devil.
Suicide is the button my mind goes to when i need an answer.
Thoughts of "I'm Hungry"="Kill Yourself"  "I'm tired"="Kill Yourself.
Thinking "I have to pee"= "But instead, Kill Yourself in there!"
WHY, i do not know my brain revert to self destruction.
My Heart tells me not to ever listen to these impulses.
My heart is strong.  My Heart is proud and confident.
Every time something unfortunate happens to me or anyone,
"Kill Yourself!" Is the answer my brain gives me.
I am aware that is illogical....That's why I Override These Urges
Every Day that I Take My MEdication on Time and see my husband
Every day that I take good care of myself, even like i am my own mother...
All Of The "Mothering Instinct" the maternal instinct, prompts me perpetually
NOT To EVER Harm Myself... no matter What!  Even if Chris Dies.
Because There is more to life than that./Every Day Is A Great Victory
Over Satan Tempting Me To Cast Myself Down And Die!
If Jesus overcame Satan, that;s why I believe I Will survive
In fact, I am a fighter!  I want to live to be an old, old woman
And Die In Bed Of Old Age.  In about Seventy Years!
Every Day Is My Latest Victory.  I Can't mess up
When I get the urge, I think of jesus, and I Pray.
Every Day That I am Fighting Death's Inevitability,
Is making me strong and courageous, and a really good person.
Every Day I Live Is A Victory For Christ....And I'm Going
To Be OK...Because The Voice of the Holy Spirit Within Me
is enough to keep me alive for life!  You must listen to the
Still, Small, Voice of God...The Comforter Jesus Gave...The Holy Spirit!
The Holy SPirit....listen to the still,
small
voice
of
god
and know, that
NO, I am NEVER going to harm myself.  I'm not going
to let it happen.  and i've told everyone, including the doctor,
and i've safety-proofed my house against suicidal impulses.
There are no scissors, no glass, no knives, no weapons,,,
There are no Poisonous Chemicals allowed in my house
I am aware that I Have To Keep Myself SAFE.  And I DO.
I've felt suicidal all my adulthood....it's not something I
haven't always had, and always will... maybe, satan's cruelty
is part of what compells me to do good deeds, and pray,
and listen to the bible audiobook!  I have faith in myself.
I cannot drive a car.  I cannot do dangerous things. i know this.
Theodore always take best care of me.  I am his baby.
I love him so much more than I am suicidal!  I have Theodore
He is My Best and foolproof Reason To Stay Alive
We Are Madly In Love!  Old Age, Lord!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!