"Feeling Alone"
I was lost and confused in a dream
Lost; and so, having nowhere to go
i smiled at the irony of blood red raindrops
in the flourescence of lights from our car
it was chilly for April i drew a shaded hand
to help me cry yet no tears would come
and i vomited thick clods of dinner all over
the pavement, breathless, then curled up
into a small frightened ball and put on my
husband's jacket.  i am not allowed to wear it
but it was so wet rainy and cold and i was
not in my home as i should have been and
i was alone and it vaguely occured to me that
i would always and forever Be, alone, that never
never again would i have a friend or lover who might
understand me, but am married, and it's an abusive marriage.
When you're married you are completely alone
especially because my husb and no longer wishes to be
married to me anyway, we are just trapped
like doves in the teeth of a mortal snare
and though in pain we cannot escape one another.
In jesus' name,
Amen.