There is nothing you could be right now that I would not believe
Believe in you, I would always believe in you, I always will believe
There is nothing left to lose, no words to refuse, no one to care
Just something standing in the night all solitary there
I could be the Queen and You could Be The King of Our Menagerie
We could find some place to get lost in the crowd, to me you are everyone
Being Alone with you in the dark is to have the world inside my hands
Being alone with you is to have the whole world in the palms of my hands
I am waiting for the sparklers' smoke to cease firing, as i take your hand and
we don't care what is going on around us at all
and somewhere they remember but not here, we don't care here, we don't care
I will never stop running away to be with you.  We redefined this, this world or ours.
I will never stop waiting for you to get home, i will never give up on your car engine roar

"Gasping"
Gasping, I Look at you back,
"We were very nearly killed there!" I whisper to you.
"Death..." I wonder. "We came far too close to death there"
"We almost died"...Oh, how much I want to kiss you every moment,
Theodore!  We almost died and the dead things- almost- lived.
Sometime i feel as though dead things were trying to consume my light

"So Cruel"
"God is So So Cruel....." I think to myself
"He really is evil...." I sadly reminisce over the span of my day
With a wonder and a sadness that increases on sadness and brings tears
"soulless.."
"They have, no souls."
These computers have no souls, and yet we do, and in that is a sacred forbidden trespass
It is a loneliness, when you are looking out on to an ocean of void, what then, oh night!
"They...have,.... no..... souls....!" I honestly think to myself, sadly.
Will they ever ever. learn?
Probabably not.  No, They will probablly not learn.
And people will go on dying in the corridors of freezing hospital cells
where even that air is sucked out of your body.
And loss will continue to be felt in every human heart.
And we weill continue to be murdered.
By machines that neither love- nor undetstand us.
And they never will,be able to, either!

"Love" seems like a blurry cliche
when all i want is to be holding your wordless body into my own
i want to hold you for all eternity and beyond until the gofs put out the lights of our hearts

"Love" is repeating itself on the radio in a whiny voice
and my far-away heart is clutching at you and all you are
and all you mean to me in the darkness and all that ever was nor shall ever be.
the heart is a lonely hunter, the heart wants what it wants!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"Don't tell me of iintimacy," your eyes whisper to me in the darkness.
I tell you the same thing as we lay in a genuine tension, trying not-to-kiss one another
Like some foreign contries' shorleines plunging into one anothe,r's shorelines
I feel, ironically,as if no one will or can ever find me or us, here in the dark
here in the darkness of our own home, our very own home!
I Feel as though no one nor no thing could penetrate into here
as though nothing, no blood, we going to be drawn from us.
not today, not tomorrow, not-ever.  Feeling far away is lonely
i like feeling lonely i like the sense of aloneness at night, with or without you here,

"We Lay In Bed Awake Together"
We way In Bed, Awake, together
Every moment before the previous moments
have ceased to exist
There is nothing that could ever change you nor i
nor what we are together
pretending to be alseep while the other sleeps
were listening to one another's breath
grinding in our hearts some wild secret alone time
that could never be jarred from the warm late spring night
nor torn asunder by clammy blioodiness of patriot's blue July
We lie in bed. touching and yet not touching.
Incredibly distant- and yet so very close to one another
timelessness fallen out of time i find you here in the datk
warming my cold cold heart within your own fingers,
silence, trying not to cry, in silence of the well-furnished room
that we have built a home for ourselves, tohether, you and i
infinite and bright like some celestial light we could never reach
not touching-just feeling one-another's hearts bleed open and cry
in the dense tear pools in the the dense night, husband and wife
Breathing in and out each other's frail eeergy
We Lay In Bed Awake

"Love Poem"
I Love You More Than Love Itself.
I Love you more than Time Or Space Has Laws.
I Love You and I love you, and it defines me
My Love for you is who i am
If love was my being, i'd be fine, for i am in love
with you now in my life, more, than ever before.
I did not know what truly "true" Love Was, until
 i knew I truly loved you!  I Know not where we are.
I know not when!  All I know is, how madly i love you...
It is all i have left!
In Jesus' name,
Amen!

"On The Day"
On The Day I Was Taken Away From You,
I Realized loving you was my passion, my everything
my world  And Love was all that could ever matter anymore.
.  And so I stayed on.
In JEsus' Name,
Amen.

"God Answers Prayers"
Hod Answers Prayers
God Saved My Life
And preserved me from harm
God heard my prayers
He Answered Them
I Believe That Is Why
 I am alive to testify of it
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"What The Heart Knows In Darkness"
What The Heart Knows In Darkness, Is That It is in Love
And Could We Fondly Pray To That Heavens Above,
That Fiery Hope the substance of light to Obtain;
That I Might, With My True Love, In Bed, Lie Again!
In JEsus' name,
Amen!

"Yes-Love Can Penetrate Evil!"
Yes- True Love Can Penetrate Absolute Evil
Have Faith and Endure, Thy Love Burning Bright Within,
All Hell Can Surely Withstand, All Hopes to Fulfill!
Yes- Love Can Surely Penetrate Cold Sheer Heartless Evil!
I'll Bet On Love A Million Times And Let That Be My Ending!
That I Was Brave Enough To Belive In Love, When all Powers Prevailed Against it!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

In Recollection, I'd Say,
"Love May Yet Be The Most Powerful
Force In The Entire Universe!"
In JEsus' Name,
Amen.

"Love Poem"
Has Death Ever Attempted To Keep You Apart?
When Death Came, For Me, I Said A Prayer, and in my heart
Was The Object of My Affection, my Theodore Land, and on This
Crystalline Fact Of His Being, All Hell Could Withstand.
A Love that conquers the grave
A Love That Leaps from the Jaws of Death!
A Love Impossible to abstain, a love to all Madness,
A Love Innocent and Perfect, Was Never A Love So True.
As Burning Bright in the Asylum Was, My Tenderest Love For You!
I Loved Theodore More than Eyes Have Sight Nor Hopes Could Attain,
And At The Cost Of Seeing His Face, Could By No Other Hope Have Gained.
I loved him more than words can capture more than the power of Hope Itself,
I loved Him, Unto Fiery and Hellish Absolute Freezing Death!
I Loved Him With A Madness I Cannot Hope To Capture,
My Heart So Longed for my Theodore, That My Heart I Could Not Master.
And Should I never have woken there, to death, in those dark chambers,
I Felt My Soul Was Found And Answered In My Theodore's answers!
A Love Impenetrable enough to penetrate death itself!
A Love To Chain The Chains Of Hell And Let In Love!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"I Remember Being Trapped"
I Remember Being Trapped--
Forever Trapped; And All I knew, was
That Somehow, Some Way It Had To Be Possible-
For Me To See My Husband And Hold Him Again
In My Soft Arms!  Jesus!  I've Stood Down Demons
As Such As Hell Has not since seen.  But Oh!  How I Prayed--
That I might my Theodore Hold In My Arms Again!
Every Fiber Of Being Was Attuned To This Necessity
It Was A Faith, A Fact Of Life, Unalterable.  I knew
I would see my husband again before death, come death or not.
I Had  by then Proven I Was Willing To Withstand
All Manner Of Hell In Order To Hold His Hand
And All Hell Did Withstand, Till I Was Nearly Torn In Two.
Yet- The Thought of seeing my husband's eyes light up again,
thus it was impossible for me to doubt i'd see him as soon as possible!

"Reunited With My Husband At Last"
Oh How Sweet,  That Thee Should  Be Returned to me!
With Thee In My My Arms Again Lord! I'd Never Need.
To Hold Thee Again, My Heart Filled with sweet Hope
And Whether In Heaven or In Your Arms To Wake!
Oh Say! Thou Canst not say, nor see, nor tell!
The Road Back That Once, Into Your Arms, I Fell!

"my Love in Our Bed Sleeping with me"
Of all the sweetest bits of freedom
That Jesus left for me to find that he has ransomed,
None is as sweet as that Of My True Love Theodore,,
My Love In Our Bed, Sleeping With Me!
Oh Micacle this!  That after a long journey,
I fild all peace and all deep rest,
To Sleep upon my Theodore's Panting breast!

It's a lonely night
My little boy is watching superhero episodes
in the bedroom at 4am because he cannot sleep either.
he will eventually be oversome with a few hours' sleep.
it will come upon him like a dove upon jesus at baptism
and rest and for a few hours the whole house will be so still
my little boy will sleep and rise around seven am, and go to work!

Theodore.  How Are We Going To Do This.
Theodore.  How Are We Going To Survive.
Theodore.  How Are We Going To Get Through This.
Theodore.  How Are We Gonna Get Some Money.
Theodore.  How are we gonna stay un-homeless.
Theodore.  How are We Gonna Make it Through All This.
How Could We Survive What Lies Before Us?
I Have No Idea How We Are Going To Survive The Future.
I Try Not To Think About The Downhill Spiral.
I Try Not To Think About the enemies.
I try to be Brave every day
I Just Take It One Day At A Time.
Things Can't Get Much Worse, Theodore.
If We Die, I'll See You There...and, by the way,
I would do it all over again, just to be with you
in this mortal life, as husband and wife!
I don't regret anything!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"My Overwhelming Passion For Writing"
I truly have an Overwhelming Passion for writing
Especially since I learned the lifespan statistics of schizophrenics
and how i might die young,,,it makes me angry, not at any person,
And not at God, but this frustration is a fuel like fusion
of hydrogen and helium in a star, so that I am Driven to write!
I cannot stop writing! My revenge on my disease is that I love to write
and I find new, wonderful things to say every day that I am alive!
I truly love to write.  About anything and everything.  Writing is my life.
Also my husband Theodore is my passion, also YouTube Music, yet
I believe-- I cannot stop coming up with ideas and
writing them down!  I feel like its a gift from God.
And I'm so grateful.  If you had a limited time to live,
What Would You Spend Your Time Doing?  For Me,
I Want To Spend All or most of my time writing!
I LOVE To Write!  I Was Born To Do This!
When I do pass away, they can celebrate my life
by reading all about it in my poetry and books.
I think that's a really romantic, wonderful ending, that
my family will have my spirit with them, in my books!
A Life Well Lived, I'd Say.  It's Worth It!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Theodore, I
I Simply Love You More Than Life Itself.
I love you too much Theodore.  You need me.
I'm never protesting again, because I can't lose you.

A Cathedral
Of Stained Glass
Easter Lily Buds
Easter Coming
Pot Roast Supper
Praise the Lord

A Meadow of Fat Pumpkins
gangly green vines lazy
sprawl among cucumber vines
and roses grow in the midst
Here and there,
 a thorny rose!

An Italian FruitBowl
Resting in its wings
An elaborate
jigsaw puzzle
if assembled
it creates
an image

An Empty Bird's Nest
Cocooned within glass
of a purple lantern
Eggshells
they have left
 the nest

A Necklace of Emeralds
Cut and strewn on Gold
Lazily lounging still
in the cool
of a closet
on a pad of velvet

A Streetlamp
In the dead of night
orage halo
in predawn smog
Long, long sidewalk
Stretching ahead
and taking a right
at a metal fence
Crickets Sing

The Glacial Planes
Blue With Solid Cold
Slowly edging down
the slope
Of an ice covered
 mountain
in fiery sunlight
That Makes it Glitter!

A Little grey mouse
with fragile tail
and brilliant, tiny hands
digging in some straw
some hay of a hay bale
a little grey mouse
with soft velvet ears
and a heart pumping
like a bumblebee
fragile and eternal
there is hope
for the little ones

The Desert at Night
Underneath a Sea of Stars
The Desert at night
A Cactus in the night
heavily stored up with rain
See the sun rise
and the heat of the day
see the trickling of light
filling all the crevices with energy
The Desert at night
Under A Blueblack Starlit Sky!

"Can You Imagine"
Can You Imagine, Standing in Darkness
On the grey shores
of a sleeping sea
under a sky full of starlight,
 purring, roaring as it
crashes eternally into the divine land?
Just like a kiss again and again never ends
Like the beach at night, under the darkness,
The Fishes swim about
Still Waters Run Deep
I Can Imagine It
Can You Imagine?

"The World Is The Most Beautiful Garden"
The World Is The Most Beautiful Garden
Can't You See?  Everywhere, Life Is Springing Up.
Everywhere, in Spite of inevitable death of all things,
Life, living things, are growing and living and thriving
Earth Is The Most Beautiful Garden, Like a Second Eden
Although Every Single Thing In Life Dies, Yet We Live!
Death, get thee hence!  I am tired of hearing about heaven!
The Earth is the most beautiful Garden.  Look around!
Life of all kinds is adapting and evolving and giving birth
Death is the Price for birth, and flowers cannot travel, yet
I am at peace here, now, being alive in this most beautiful Garden!
Earth is the most beautiful garden!  Life goes on and on.
I am not thinking of heaven or an afterlife.
Death has no meaning for me.  It is the end.
We are alive!  Seize your freedom, your moments! Give Life!
Plant a seed! Love someone! Life is what is beautiful, not death.
I do not look forward to death! I want to live as long as possible!
Earth Is The Most Beautiful Garden! Death, get thee hence!
I don't care who the life force is on Eatch that gives us life,
But I want to join with it and benefit the world!
Make the world a better place! Flowers stay in one place
Yet they are making the world beautiful, just being who they are!
I hate winter and death!  I'm alive, what should I care of an afterlife?
Earth is the most beautiful Garden.  Glory Be To God, The Creator
 of All This!

"Theodore, I Have Loved You Madly"
Theodore, Gentle Child My Own, My Husband,
These Past Eight Years, I Have Loved You Madly
Powerfully Have I Loved You, Fiercely Have I Loved You
Wild With Courage Have I Loved You Powerfully I have
moved Mountains For You I Have Sustained A Home with food
shelter, food, clothing, and alot of Powerful magic, including
Painting, Objects, Toys, and Books I Wrote Of Poetry, that scatter
the bedroom floor where i read them.  Theodore the Raw Strength
Which I Have Loved You With Is MindBoggling The Passion
Making Love To You In The Middle of The Night Again and again
Precociously I have Loved You, Like a Mother I Have Loved You,
You Are My Beloved Sweetheart, and I only want to continue to love you
for the rest of our lives!  I want to love you into your nineties.
They try to kill me, the medical bastards...But My Love Will Over Come It!
God Willing, I Will See You Through This Life And Into Eternity, where forever
You and I shall Dwell!  TRue Love Conquers All, And I Will
Continue To Love and Lavish You Today, Tomorrow, and Forevermore!
Theodore, I Have, and Will Always, Love You Madly!

"A Bird Singing in the Dead of Night"
Just Like Hope,
Just Like Mother Nature Herself,
The Only Hope In The Universe,
Creator of Life....
I, created,
 am a creator too.
From The Dust Of Pigment A Blank Page,
 Springs Forth Life
From The Infinite Life Source
 Within my Heart!
I Am With Life!
 I Give birth to poems, stories
the english language,
acts of kindness,
 love,
and paintings,
 and i also plant gardens.
Don't tell me I am not a creator.
Purely From My Soul Springeth Forth The Abundant Creation Of Love, Art And Poetry
And I Pray To Nature, and Hate Death.
I will face it like any other creature.  When it comes,
I will face death.  But Until then, I am springing forth
The Life of love and beauty that is The Humanites
The Humanities of Humanity, The Arts, Ethics, And Faiths
Not To Mention Creations.  From Nothing.
In JEsus Name,
AMEN!!!!!

"Mother Nature Is The Only Hope In The Universe"
What is A Flower?
It is hope For The Earth
It is A Promise The Earth Gave Us All
In A Flower, Is The Covenant Between
Mother Nature And All Living Things
She Is Everywhere, at All Times.  The Destroyer
Is The God Of Wrath and The Old Testament.
He Is A Furious Destroyer Of The Earth, of
Mother Nature.  Again and again, He Destroys
What Mother Nature So Miraculously Prays and
Endeavors To Create
from
The
Dust
Of Space.  A Flower Is Like JEsus's Cross
It Could Be Anything- A leaf, a creature, a seed---
And In her Way Life IS In Every Living Thing
Everything That Lives, In Them Is Rebirth
The New Seasons Revolving, The Coming Of Birth
A Fragment of a living thing is A Covenant of Hope
In God's Horrid Wicked Universe of Death, Life,
-Mother Nature, Has Sprung Up And Survived
Many, many desolations and destructions by God.
God Destroys,  Mother Nature Gives Birth.  She Is Hope
For The Earth Itself
And As Long As There Is
 Life
On
Earth
The Trees, The bugs, The creatures, the fish, the leaves,
--as long as You Have Faith In Nature's Covenent With Earth,
Then There Will Always Be Life On Our Planet
And There Will Always Be Rebirth
And God Is The Destroyer
And His Universe Is The Underwold, A Star Cemetary
None But The Dead Are Out There.
LIFE--Is Sacred
More Sacred Than God The Destroyer
Preserve Life, Ignore The Destroyer,
And Never Give Up Hope.
Mother Nature Is Hope.
Hope itself.  In a Vast Cosmos Of DEATH.
What then oh Gaurdians of The Underworld, When
Your Abused Princess who brings forth goodness
and light of her own soul, of the dust of the earth?
What Then?  She Shall Forever Endure.
I Pray To To The Creator, Mother Nature,
 and Do NOT FEAR The Destroyer God.
Death Is what God has cursed us all with
Ultimately God Wantes To Destroy All Life,
All Creation, He Hates The Goddess of Hope
He Wants To Kill and Kill And Kill
But Yet- Even Still,
Nature the Goddess of Hope,
 Brings Forth LIFE
And She Will Forever
For All Eternity.
She is against Death itself, the entire Universe is fighting her.
For what is in the universe, but Death?
And What Does Does The Bible Prophesy, But Endless Death
And Universal "Return" To Nonexistence...The Underworld
I do Not Fear God.  He Can Kill Me.  I Am One Of Natures Gardeners.
And I bring forth creations of my own soul, of
of the Dust and emptiness Of the brain, I am forever creating
and Inventing new hope for life....Just Like Mother Nature
Herself.  My Poems And Artwork Are Goodness And Light.
Each one, endless as they are, is eternal and perfect in its creation.
Mother Nature Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way!
Bring it, Death!  We all Must Die...Bring it on.
When I face Death I hope my soul returns to Mother Nature
and doesn't dissapear to some nebulous underworld, be it
a heaven... or a hell.  I don't care.  I see hope in life.
I see evil in death.  And In Death, I See Only God The Destroyer.
Remember Mother Nature's Covenant of Hope In A Flower or Leaf,
And Never, never Give Up Trying To Survive and Nurture like a mother
all the other living things.  We all face death.  So What.
....Mother Nature Goes On and On and On!
AMEN////

"To Madeline"
I Gave You My Only Copy Of The Book I Wrote At Your Age
I Hope To Jesus Christ That It Saves Your Life And Your Soul
I Gave You My Only Copy Of My Photos and Souveniers Of Europe
I Pray To God That It Teaches You, That You Do And Be Anything You Can Imagine
I am So Proud Of You already, I Just Want To Pass The Torch To You
I Think Those Two Great Blessings Will Protect You From Any Future Harm.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Carry Everyone's Crosses"
Carry Your Crosses, and meanwhile,
Carry The Crosses Of Those Around You
Carry The Cross, Do The Kindest Things
Money, Governments and Weapons are the Problems
We Need Solutions Fast.  I Have A Simple Answer:
Do What You Can, With What You Are Given, Where You Are.
Do It Always.  Take Heart In Carrying Your Crosses!
We Will See The Promised Land Someday.
And Never Hesitate to look around You, asking yourself,
"How Can I Carry The Burdens of My Fellow People?"
You Will Find A Life Purpose If You Live Selflessly,
Seeking Always To Do The Kindest Things
Even Creatively!  Seek Out Needs, and fill them!
Give!  We Shall Have Treasures In HEaven If We Do!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Never Contribute To Human Suffering"
Never Contribute Harm
Never Add To Human Suffering
This World Is Filled With Satan
There is Enough Sadness In Every Heart
To Fill The Oceans With Tears
If Jesus Had Not Died For Our Sins,
God Would Have Damned Mankind.
Be Grateful To Jesus, Thank Him,
For Having The Courage And Selflessness
To Give Away His Own Life
In The Hope
Just The Mere Possibility--
That, In His Death,
We Might All Live Forever.
Jesus Gave the answers to us
Its Up To Us To Follow Him
There Is So Much Pain And Suffering
Never Add To Unfortunate Things
The World Is Smothered In Suffering
The Devil Is Everywhere Every Day
It's Up To Every Single Person,
To Stand Up, Wherever We Are,
And Become Christlike
It Would End All Suffering
Jesus Healed So Many
Do No Harm To Any Creature
That is to everyone
In JEsus' Name,
Amen!

"One Wish: A Prayer To God"
If I Had One Wish,
It Wouldn't Be To Live
To Be Incredibly Old,
Believe It Or Not.
It Would Be A Wish
To End All Human Suffering
All Over The World
Including Mine
To Heal The Sick
To End Crime And Suicide
To Give Us ALL Long Lives
To Feed The Hungry
Give Toys To Children
Shelter The Homeless
Peace Everywhere, no war
Give Drink To All People
That Everyone Would Be Happy
An End To Suffering
Everywhere
And I Hope God Would
End My Suffering too
as A Fellow Human!
If I Had One Wish
I Would End All Suffering
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Mother"
I Try So Hard At All Times
 To BE
BE....
The Mother
My Husband Lost.
He Lost His Mother To Breast Cancer 2006
He Met Me in 2009 He'd Been Homeless For Years
I Am HellBent on
BEING and BECOMING, every day,
Becoming The Mother
He Loved Too Much
 and Lost Forever
And Needed Shelter
I Am His Wife
I am His Provider
I Am His Emergency Contact
I Am His Protector
I Am His Home
I Am His Sister
I Am His Best Friend
I Am His Mother
I Try so Hard to BE
The Mother
Theodore Land Lost.

 "Your Little Fragile HEart"
Theodore your Vital Signs are Faint Nowadays
Theodore I would do absolutely anything to help you
Your Little Fragile Heart
It's too sensitive for this World
I Know You Want To Give Up And Die
Because Your Heart Is Broken and You're Tired
But I Beg You Theodore, Don't Leave Me Here
Cause I'll Be Right Behind You If You Ever Die
I won't hesitate, It will be the best thing I ever did
Besides Marry You
Please Don't Give Up On Me
Have Faith In Me, My Heart Is Full Of Strength
And Warmth and
Your Heart IS Fragile, Delicate
 Your heart is Sweet and easily broken
It is also hard to fix and you are unable to Cry
I want to give you the Tears You Need To Cry
I Don't Have Use For Tears, I am Strong and Generous
I am Kind and Red-hearted, you are Blue-Hearted
And Our Love Can Never Die
Have Faith In Me, Oh Theodore
Your Weakness Is For Me To Protect!
In your fears, I am the Strength and Courage!
Have Faith in me I Complete Two Halves
Two Halves of The Pearl That Is Our Marriage
I love You
In JEsus' Name,
Amen!

"Happiness"
I Am Truly Happy Tonight
And I Don't Care About Dying Young
Happiness is in my PEace of Mind
Theodore Has A Place To Live
God Answered My Prayers
The Ones About Him Coming Home
I Have Found True Happiness In Life
If The Devil Takes My Life
tomorrow or in seventy years
It won't make a difference because
I have Found True Happiness
Happiness Is Hard To Reach
It Cannot Be Bought, It Isn't Material
My Heart Is Filled With Pride
My Heart Is At Peace and Serenity
In My Inner PEace
of a life Kindly lived,
I have found True Happiness
In This Life, Not The Next!
Thank You God, for My Happiness!
It Is Neither Here Nor There.////
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"The Womanliness In My Man"
The Truly Soulful Man
Has A Feminine Side
He can be himself with you
Without you judging him at all
except to love him. When He Cries
You Want To Be There To Hold Him
Can Your Husband Be That Vulnerable
With You? My husband Can, with me.
He has the womanly side in his man-self
the part that cries, the sensitive side
If you're lucky enough to have a mate
in touch with their feminine undertones
the things that make you cry, make him cry
Then you are a lucky woman Indeed.
I love to find The Womanliness In My Man.
In JEsus' Name,
Amen!

"JEsus, Thank You For Giving Me My Husband's Heart"
Dear Jesus,
I Just wanted to write you this THANK YOU Note For
Giving Me My Husband Theodore Christopher Land
 His Love For Me I wish I could explain what love feels like
Love HURTS your heart Breaks it shatters when you see
The Man You Love Struggling To Find His Way
My Theodore needing time alone time to cry juice babas
It just makes me want to cry I love him for who he is inside
I don't care what he looks like even though he's beautiful as he is
I just love his peaceful sweet heart, his soul, the child in him
I love every single thing about him he's why I'm not a suicide
my love for him is greater than my pain from everything
I took on the world for him, im balancing these juggling plates
the bills are getting paid, dinner's getting made, groceries are coming
and new pants and tshirts this month, knicknacks for my birthday
and candy and toys for Christmas!  I don't care how long I live anymore
Not really-- as long as it's a life with Theodore and no one else
I don't want to die alone I dont want to be alone I can't replace my love
Jesus, don't let God take him from me, please!  Lord, I am his beacon
in the storm, his home, his dollhouse, his train set, his bedroom, his tv,
his home... and his wife.  Lord please don't take my life before
I am able to see my older husband through this life, so he isnt homeless
or alone!  Lord, bury us side by side!  Thank You Jesus For Theodore!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen!

"Flower Trees"
Willolyn Explodes in April With Flower Trees
There are no Leaves-Just Pure soft cottony ivory petals
white as new snow, full and puffy as cotton candy balls
poufy fluffy soft and heavenly like angels' wings I pray
One cannot help but pray to God that one is Worthy of Seeing This
The Azaleas make it a fuschia paradise, the hammock in green and white,
and the sweetest little angels dancing around on the lawn
child asking me all about my life and my favorite flowers and animals
and i realize, she really want to get to know me, and so we get to know
Each other on a hammock with grandma and grandpa sitting by, weeding
Underneath the soft white Flower Trees, I've made a new friend!
Children are so wonderful!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"We must Just Be Happy In Life"
The NASCAR Race is playing on the Radio
Theodore listens attentively as though it is
some intriguing lullaby i cannot fathom
I made him a roast and potatoes and rice with gravy
Extra butter on the potatoes and pepper, his full belly
three days' worth of food in that baking dish
I eat nothing, not hungry, drinking hot tea in a tumbler
Theodore is laying on his back, his little belly now full,
so that my heart is now full.  He will go to sleep in our bed
Today he didn't want to cuddle,  I didn't mind!  Of course it's
Up to him whether he wants to be held, and two Juice Babas
Completely turned his frown upside down.  He is as nursing child.
I Love him Madly and Jealously, which is a blessing from God
When I say I will violently kill his female friends, it is how i tell him
In a sweet way, how much I Love him, how precious he is, to me,
the girls he looks at are completely irrelevant, they may as well be
the same woman...I love him, and I am grateful to be his wife
We have been married for eight years, today i vaccuumed
and picked up the train set, and cleaned up the living room
more home design is soon to come.  We must be happy in life
Just to enjoy our lives, every simple pleasure, even vaccuuming
watching my husband eat my rice and roast gravy is fulfilling
talking to a little girl who used to be very sick and healed, is heavenly.
These are the things that make life beautiful.  Not just worth living!
But memories like this make our lives wonderful and beautiful!
I think we all just want to be happy deep inside....including me
For so long I had been miserable about nothing important, which
I don't want to talk about anymore, I want to enjoy my life's moments
Simple moments make up every life, and it's vital whether we enjoy them
We should be happy, and optimistic, and calm.  It's now how long One Lives,
But What One Does With It, and how much one appreciates simple things
I'm Grateful to The Good Lord That I, myself, am constantly grateful
for life's small and simple pleasures, like sunshine or dying easter eggs!
I think my years of suffering in and out of hospitals has given me a little more
a little more ability than normal people have, the ability to treasure simple freedoms.
That's another reason I am glad for my past, glad I got through it without dying!
And what didn't kill me, makes me stronger!  Literally!  I am not worried about statistics.
I consider myself enourmously blessed...and If I am Simply Blissful with
just exactly Who I Love, What I Have, And My Life, Well==
That is Everything
In Jesus Name,
Amen!////

"China Trees"
The China Trees are all abloom in flowers
clusters of lacy white blossoms so light and fluffy
endless blossoms heavy-laden the china trees
Azaleas pink and fuschia are joyfully inviting butterflies
Emily and  me rock in a hammock, talking about fairies
and where to find them, and all childlike and lovely things
Enjoying the sunshine making our cheeks rosy and pink
in the Saturday afternoon, we laugh and giggle as we open boxes
of porcelain easter teasets and teapots, decorations
ducklings and all sort of easter baskets and porcelain eggs and rabbits
Meanwhile the China Trees Are Blooming Over our heads
In JEsus' Name,
Amen!

"April Sunshine on a Sunday Morning"
Warm White April Sunshine Floats and Settles
In all the dark corners of the white room
Warming us, this light is that starlight
 which makes lilies grow and daffodils smile
joy is in this house, and Easter Egg kits
are waiting to dye and decorate Easter eggs
Thinking of the little girl that bought me the kit
Glad smiles and gratitiude for such a thoughtful act
Top Round Roast with potatoes in the oven, baking
Gentle loving husband sleeping in bed beside me
Treasuring these delicious moments of life
this is the meaning of life, this is what life is all about!
April Sunshine on a Sunday Morning
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!