Monday, February 27, 2017

"God's Grace Is Mercy"
The Mercy Of God Is That,
Just When You Can't Hold On Any Longer,
The Good Lord Almighty God will Give You HOPE
Just when you think your troubles have overwhelmed your heart,
God Whispers In Your Ear, "Get Up, My Child!  I Have Plans For You!"
God Gives Each of Us Hope through Challenges that make heartbreak seem trivial
God can heal heartbreak he can make you Happy To Be Alive- not suicidal anymore!
The challenges you will face, you now look forward to them, because
lif is so precious and satan is so wicked, and while we are on this earth,
God is going to inspire every living person and creature with
Hope
Hope
Hope, For A Future unforeseen.  The promise of a future
is priceless.  You don't realize how grateful you are for your gifts,
Until maybe you are faced with losing them sooner than you hoped!
I'm not angry at God, at all.  I think, God Gave Me
A Reason To Fight, To Live, To Survive,
Today, When He Told Me I Would be Very Brain-Damaged
If I am lucky enough to grow old.  So, of course, I am now
determined to live to grow old!
God's Grace Is Mercy!
Thank you Lord!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!
all these years, the stigma of being called "Crazy" and "Psychotic" all the embarrassment an shame and attack of my dignity, went out the window hwen i realized IM NOT insane But I Really AM SICK!  I am a sick person! its not an insult its just true.  mental illness stigma is a nightmare and i'm here to tell everybody my thoughts thoughts are just as valid as anybody elses', and i have every right to write and publish all the books i can think of!  I have a disease, but it doesn't have to be an insult....its not an insult to be disabled.  it's a fact. and it is sad. and YES my opinions are completely valid to publish! SCHIZOPHRENIA
"I Face a Great Challenge"
I face a Great Challenge, brain damage
Did You Know, That I Am A Hero
I've been through so much and lived
I have survived things with pure courage
I'm not afraid of being braindead when I'm Old....
By then, i will already have done so much
literary damage to Satan that, people will say,
"She was a genius!" and my legacy WILL be Published
I Have A Dream Of Writing My Heart And Soul Out
While I am Young, I'm Glad to know this damage
Is going to get progressively worse...because I'm a Champion
Forget everybody else.  Forget all the things I'd feared.
I'm now aware Of A HUGE Challenge as a writer
and I'm Going to use all my energy to reduce relapse
and Write The Hell Out Of Anything I Feel I Should Say!
Starting Today!
"So many of us never get the Chance to succeed!"
So many of us never get the encouragement to follow their dreams
It's really sad.  Just a little challenge you discover can be so inspiring
Your precious treasured possession, your intellect... knowing, learning,
That due to having schizophrenia, i'm incurring huge amounts
of brain damage over a lifetime, both from the disease, and the drugs!
So if my candle is going to burn lower the old i get, i'm inspired.
Inspired, to take on my passion, which is writing, and show schizophrenia
a thing or two before I go to heaven!  You see, I don't quite "fear" death--
I mean, I DO, but I....Tempt death, I look for danger...I tend to be a hero
I'm brave I love a good challenge!  Knowing that, by the time I get old,
I may barely be able to think intellectually at ALL, due to brain damage...
makes me want to write the hell of this sucker!  Life is brief.  I want to write.
I want to write all the important winsdom and beauty i have to share
with others while i still HAVE my brain, while I am still young.  I'm going
to assume i'll be about braindead by old age, But I'll have the victory
Because I am actually, umm... brilliant, and I have so much more to say!
I'd better take advantage of the time I have and write as fast as possible!
I already lost my ability to paint....brain damage...I loved painting
I miss painting It's sad....but I'm going to show the devil a thing or two
in poetry, in words, because baby I've got the Spirit, the heart, and the ability,
right now!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

Saturday, February 25, 2017

"Be Brave and Have Faith!"
Be So Incredibly Brave!
Be The Very Bravest You Can Be...Braver!
Be Braver Than You are Capable of Being...
In Christianity We Call That Courage "Faith"
Faith Is When We "Believe" That Everything's OK.
That No Matter What, Everything Will Have Hope.
Believe In Life After Death!  Believe In God! Believe!
When We aren't certain whether things are gonna be OK
But Our Hope OverComes Our Fear...That is Faith!
It Is Whistling In The Dark.  It Is A Form Of Courage
And Courage Is A Form Of PRayer To A Higher Power
I Dearly Hope You Believe in A God That Is The Ultimate Love!
I Hope You Have Faith In A God Made Of Love!
Believe In Love!  But In Times of Fear, Courage...
Courage and Faith Will See Thee Through Any Storm.
Faith is a Form of Courage.  Be Incredibly Brave!
Have Faith In God, That Everything Is Going To Be OKAY
Everything is somehow Going To BE Okay, no matter
How Lost Or Hopeless things may seem... No matter how lost,
Jesus (My God I Place My Faith In, A God Of Pure Love)
Jesus Will Find Every Sheep That Is Lost.  Pray To God.
God Provides for the Tiniest Creatures like Insects, To Highest Leaders.
Have Faith In That.  Be Brave and Have Faith!  NEver Give up Hope---
Keep Having Faith.  Keep The Faith.
In JEsus' Name,
Amen
"Courage"
The Greatest Thing You Can Ever Learn
Is Not "To Love, and Be Loved In Return."
Few Of Us are That Lucky In Life!  Actually,
The Greatest Thing You Can Ever Learn
Is That "You Are Alive So Just Be Happy" With That
The Greatest Thing I Ever LEarned
Is To Be Alone, and fine with that, forever.
To Know I am completely Alone In Life, and Smile At That!
Courage Is Magical Maybe Courage Defeats Love
Because Sometimes Courage Is The Difference Between
Everything, Including Whether You Choose To Live Or Die,
Your HEart May Be Broken!  Yes!  Admit that you are alone...
If You Have A Heart Full Of Courage, Then Realize We Are All Alone!
If You Do Not Love Yourself, Then There's No Hope, At All.
If You Can Learn To Love Yourself and Love "Being Alive"
If you can sit alone in a room and smile grateful for your life
This is a power Greater than love Itself!  The Soul Is Highest.
The Soul Is More Important Than Loving and Being Loved.
In The End We are All Alone With All Of Our Memories and Deeds
When You Stand Before The Judgement Day, Will You Be Let In?
That, That Question, is All That Really Matters.
To Be Loved Is To Be Lucky.  Few Are So Lucky.
If You Are Not Loved, If You Are ALone,
Love Yourself.  Love Life.  Love Breathing and being Alive.
Try Your Best To Do Your Best With Your Life, But Also Know
That Life Isn't Just A Test...It's a Gift From God!
And Once A Life Is Lost, Then A Hope Is Dead and
I Do Not Personally Believe In The Absence Of Hope.
I Hope That This Helps Anyone Who has A Broken Heart,
Is Being Bulled, Feels low Self-Esteem, Builled, Or Suicidal.
I Hope That Helps.  Smile!  You have the gift of Being Alive!
They Aren't Worth Dying For.  Be Your Personal Hero.
May The Person You Face In The Mirror Be
The Bravest Face, Your Greatest Hero, Your Only Hope!
It Is Possible To Live Alone And Be Happy!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

Friday, February 24, 2017

"Nest"
The Government Will Never Enter My Home.
The things I own are my own Property, and should I move,
Theodore and I shall take them with us.  We do have possessions.
Those filthy political "sides" i refuse to take, owing to it's being ...dumb
I am not a Follower of People, But A Loner.  I walk alone, With my dignity
I will never let those dingy economic concepts dim my ethical vision
I am A Child of the Light, Of God, I answer to no man, I Owe nothing to anyone!
Money is an Old Concept Our Humanity is advanced beyond "Currency"
As for money, I'm neither one nor the other for both is pure evil
Money is the root of all evil, purge these words from my cozy nest!
In me is domestic life and liberty, In me is Home, Theodore's Home
In Me Is My Family's being held together by my great love and care to call.
No, those filthy words shall never destroy my home, The Nest of Theodore Land
His Nest Will Endure Whatever Storms Life may throw at us
After all, money isn't even important anymore, it is not relevant to daily life
So I take no side at all.  I try to get rid of money as quickly as possible!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!
"Prettier Girls"
Theodore often shows me photos of Prettier Girls Than Me
He Can ask them out, they are all interested in him
I just have to have faith in God to Bring my husband home daily
I wait for him all day and late into the night, i have a stout heart
and my love for him has never even slightly diminished, it grows
like a flower waiting to be given water by my owner, i wait for him.
Theodore, my husband, I trust him, I love him,,,Prettier Girls, there are tons,
But my faith in God Has Led My Husband faithfully home to me for eight years
And I have faith in God that he shall forever be my One True Love!
Prettier Girls...I just pray to God,..
In JEsus Name,
Amen!

Thursday, February 23, 2017

"Free"
And On Some Nights, I Felt Barely Tethered To Life At All
Free-Perfectly free to me myself, to find myself, to express myself!
Freedom is exhilarating when you realize you are free
I know that my beauty is just as great as any other woman could be
For I cannot imagine any woman with greater soul than me!
I do not envy, but seek to learn from other women
I know in my heart that we have more in common than others
That I don't ever have to feel like I am less pretty than any other woman
Because When i put on Eyeliner I appear as among the most beautiful of women!
Thus my insecurity fades away and I go bare my hair is black and so long
My eyes are ocean blue, my shin is white like white porcelain china
My lips, parted, conceal a contagious smile that spells my ultimate victory
There is something in going hungry that makes me feel alive
Hunger and the gnawing away until one is perfectly thin, i am thin now
and I could run like a deer if i had to, I am beautiful, magical, in love,
 and free!  Free at heart is the faraway emotion i am tethered to chase
Like a dove seeking my mate, my husband and I, lone wolves
There is no other we are for life, neither can replace, only grieve!
I am beautiful, magical, in love, and free as can be!  Every night
my mate Theodore Comes home to me.  Don't you see...we are both free
Free Together, He And I!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
"The Mercy Of God is Greater"
The Mercy of God Is Infinite, Greater than
any of His Wrath... If you believe in
God's infinite love for you, God's Huge Mercy,
Then You can Come into his kingdom more
It feels so much better when we feel the Love of God
God Is not angry at Anyone Right Now
I Think He is Tired and needs comsolation,
time for us to ripen and slowly grow old
while he Smokes His Good Old Pipe
By The Blazing Fireplace in a Cozy Warm Room.
If I could Give anyone advice, strangely, it would be,
"Don't ever leave Anyone Out in the Cold On A Winter Night"
That, that, is how you get into heaven, friend.  Keeping others Warm.
That is all God Wants of us now, is to make sure everybody
Is Safe and Warm, That No One is homeless or comfortless.
If you see need, Give....Give what you can.  Give what is needed
But above all, Make Certain Every Person Is Warm On A Cold Night!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen!///
"Pain"
I think kindness is born in one's heart when
One is forced to feel suffering and pain
The child of suffering and pain is compassion
One learns never to do things as our parents did
One learns never to be cruel or judge another soul
One learns how bad it feel to be injured, and will not harm
Harm and suffering teach the meek vital lessons they become
more human, more alive!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!
"Hope"
There must somehow be Hope for every living thing
There must, must be hope for every thing on earth
Show me something hopeless, and break my heart!
If not hope in this life, surely hope in the afterlife!
Hope for hope!  Beautiful Hope!  Never Giving up hope!
I still haven't given up hope on my life.  I never will.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!
"Spring"
With Spring Comes my Hope For A Future
With Spring comes the idea that i might somehow survive
Spring bringing forth leave and nubs forth of herself
I see so much life i have been watering all winter
you must have faith in spring, even in darkest winter
They cannot put out all the plants in the world
They cannot control every tree my trees are mine
and seeing them put forth their first nubs of green leaves,
I water them and pray to my God!  Spring brings hope.
In darkest hours spring is meanwhile pushing herself up
through the ground and waking up the trees and plants
bringing sap into  their branches and life into their veins
I found a new hope for my own life in the nubs of green
buds of spring brought forth the wonderful idea that
there might somehow be a future after a hellish winter!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen!

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

"A Song Cannot Be Sung Unless It Is Free"
A Song cannot be sung unless It Is Free
A Secret Cannot Be Uttered without having a Hope
The Life Is Far More Worth The Preserving of itself
Whatever lies after life may have something infinite to it
There is a reason we are born on this earth, we choose to do ours
In ways we choose to live, Great or small, there is a reason
for passing into Eternity after this strangely brief mortality ride
All the pain we each suffer in life, all the tears we didn't cry in life,
I believe they will be wept in heaven!  At Last! Our prayers are all
given right back to us when we go to infinity, when we die, when
when our bodies turn into the devil's certain property, something horrible
that must be hidden from the light forever! Is that metamorphosis not proof
that we are of eternity, that there is so much more to "Life" than the physical?
That love is the most important thing we can do.  That self-sacrifice is vital to life
that suffering is a part of life, that death is inevitable, and when it comes, God's with us all!
God goes with us into the deepest waters, no matter how cold, he is with us in the darkness
that is why faith and prayer to God are so incredibly powerful.
Pain is a part of life suffering is something we are cleansed by and the more we feel pain,
the more human, the more perfect, we become.  to do evil dehumanizes the hearts of those
who do the evil deeds.  i do not know if justice ought be carried out in this life, honestly
for it is the Good Old Lord God, who judges us all in the end.  We are not to judge one another.
There are things we cannot understand and things science cannot explain and never will
nature always has these miracles to outwit humans from their delusions that they are God.
I think it is beautiful when i see nature outwit us all in the most miraculous, beautiful ways!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

"A Dream"
A Dream is an Infinitely Powerful and Holy Thing
The Seeds Of Dreams Are Planted In Our Hearts
By Everyone and Everything Around Us, Yet What Takes Hold--
Which Dreams Will One Choose To Keep As Their Own?
A Dream can save the World, a life, It is limitless, but
Who will persevere against time and space, Who has the Will
The Pure Willpower and the Luck To Live On
To See Their Dreams Fulfilled?
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Saturday, February 11, 2017

"If: A Hope"
If....I can look only at my own apartment, my own life,
and realize how grateful to God I should be and be Just Grateful.
Just Thankful is enough.  I'm going to stay in this apartment forever
Honestly I have no idea what goes on in your outside world outside my door
I really don't have anything to say because I never leave my Apartment.
My Apartment is all And I am so grateful for this little apartment, i feel rich.
Enough?  Too Much? Not Enough?  No, God I'm just Thankful for what I Have.
I am a tiny person in an infinite universe, and I can't use the TV News to judge your Universe.
I Think My Argument is with the TV, not the outside world.  That TV
Brings nothing but bad news that has nothing to do with me, I would love
To throw it over the balcony!
In Jesus Name,
AMEN./
"Grateful"
Although God Is Causing alot of problems in the world,
He must Love Me An Awful Lot, Because I am not sick
I am not in pain, I am perfectly happy!  Even Cozy in my home!
I am so lucky to sit in my living room and be free
 to write anything that i can think of!  Anything!  Thank you, Lord!
Thank you for providing for me and my loved ones.
As For me, you have blessed me incredibly and I am grateful.
I do not know what the Television's Daily News has to do with me
I guess I should be grateful to you, Oh God, and not criticize
Your World, which i cannot go into anyway!  Thank you for blessing me
With a wonderful home and all the loved ones and a civilised life!
Thank you lord, for my health!  For My Talent!  For My Husband!
I am truly grateful to You, Oh Lord God.  God has Blessed Me!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!
"God You are Violent"
God, you are very Destructive.  You kill what you create.
The winter Freezes even the prettiest of spring flowers in the fall, and
Even the trees must live of of dead life to stay alive!
Your Creatures Are being Preyed Upon By Animal Predators-Why?
Why did you create us with the intention of letting us die?
Why Do we have grow up for eighteen years and then grow old?  Why?
You are very Violent, God.  The Plagues you Plague us with are rarely deserved.
Sometimes I Just Think, "What On Earth Was God Thinking When He Planned This?"
"Or Created this? Or let everyone die"
God, You are Very Destructive...You are Violent.  I Do Not See Why.
That Is All
In JEsus' Name,
Amen!!!!
Lives are Fragile And Priceless
You Cannot Alter Other People's Lives
Justice must Bow Eternally To Mercy And Pity
Else how are we going to raise our children?
Much less trust them to the government for education?
How are people going to raise their children?
How?  I cannot bring unborn children into my life
Because I don't want them to suffer as I have suffered.
I refuse to give of my loins that the government could
dare to capture and take away!  I ignore childbirth
Because Of The Hardship Of My Life, I am Blessed
That I refused tp Bring Children into this world, to see them
Go hungry or be manipulated and brainwashed!
It Was and Is The Most Compassionate Thing I Can Do!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
"Unuttered Prayers"
The Government Can Crush Our China
And Take Our Children and Rape Our Women
Yes-- The Government can take away everything that you love!
The Government can take every heart you've ever loved or hoped to love!
They May Crush Our Hopes and we Despair, Yet,
They Cannot Crush our Dreams!  We Are Spirits
And Yes, Every Little Bit of Help in the World, It Makes a difference!
Every Smile, Every Act of Kindness, and Every, every single
 unuttered Prayer!
It all helps to soothe the world in the face of cruelty and brashness
Sometimes the smallest gestures of kindness to the homeless or heartbroken
or anyone, can save a life and prevent another death!
Believe In the little Power of Acts Of Kindness and Gentleness and Love!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen
"China Roses Under a Soldier's Boot"
China Roses Being Crushed Under A Soldier's Boot
Their Guns are not of Honor or Skill They simply Kill
They may crush the finest cloths and ravage beautiful women
And Steal all manner of precious Jewelry, and Crush Cherubim
But They Will Never Understand the Beauty of The Things They Kill!
Our Intricacy and Beauty in our detailed daily lives is precious
Every Individual Person holds a universe within themselves,
dreams and loves, wishes and hopes,
fears and friendships, memories and prayers
Longings and sadness and uniqueness and genius
Loved Ones and Property and Posessions Held so priceless Dear
China Roses Being Crushed Under A Soldier's Boot
But Somehow The Government has the inability to Care!
Their heart Hearts Are Cold Like New Tombstones
The Dread Heart That Beat in their Chests are mostly hate and fear
China Roses Being Crushed Under A Soldier's Boot

"Rich In Dreams"
Oh This World Is Filled With Lovely Things
Things Made By Artisans Stroke By Precious Stroke
Stitch By Precious Stitch, Handwoven Baskets of Palm Fronds
Porcelains in a million fathoms and ever metamorphosing
In The Mind's Eyes of The Artists That Create Them
Sweaters embellished with intricate
flowers and hand threaded beads
Artisans are Dreamers, they sell
The Handiwork of their Dreams
If You Do Not Value Everyday Handiwork
Then maybe the poor artisans who make no money
Are richer than the wealthy souls that buy their art
Not richer in money, yet richer in heart, richer in dreams
It is One thing to be rich and another thing to be rich in One's Dreams!
Handiwork of artist tickles my heart deep inside,
That someone should care so much to stitch or draw or sew these things!
Verily These Craftsmen are Rich In Dreams!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!
"Blue Willow"
Porcelain China, at its best
Is Mysterious in its Images
Ponderous and magnificent
Like a mystery on a flat surface
Cold To the touch
Hard as Glass
The closest anyone will ever get
to walking over the Blue Willow Bridge,
Or Eating The Trees' Ripe, Sweet Fruits
Or Taking in Warmth at a fireplace in the Temple
We can never get quite into that otherwoldliness
But Oh, How Deeply, How Sweetly,
It Inspires Us To Dream!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen
"The China Birds"
The China Birds Are On The Wing
Kissing As They Fly
cool, almost cold To the tender touch
delft Blue on porcelain plate
But these birds seem joyful
As though from another time
They are exotic, they are rare
I watch the China Birds Fly
Arrested in motion, frozen in time
Simply brushstrokes on China
Painted With a Skillful Hand
They Would Endure Through All Time
They May be here when i am gone
They endure, The China Birds
That Make Me Dream, How Cruel
To Shatter Them, How Heartless!
But I won't let them shatter
My Porcelains roses and birds
All the little glass figurines
They Fly and Pose and Kiss and Curtsy
In my cabinet, my dollhouse,
and in my dearest Dreams!
The China Birds Are On The Wing
Kissing As They Fly
"Happiness Dream"
Perhaps A Dearly held Dream I Dream About My Own Books,
Is To Order Them from my Publisher and
Fill up an entire bookshelf With My Own Work!
I Want THeodore To Sleep In The Shadow of My
Bookshelves of my own writings, and know for certain,
how safe he is, how lucky he is, how proud he can be of me!
This is A dream of Happiness that I hope for and cherish the hope
And knowing each book, is a masterpiece, so pleasant to read
To choose any book from them all is certain to delight all ages!
In JEsus' Name, Amen
"The Grandfather Clock"
In my heart, Proud and Tall,
Is A Grandfather Clock I do not have
I will procure one for my home somehow
When I Get a Chance!
 to chime Hourly
 to swing "Tick, Tock"
 to chime the hour of day
 to be a little taller than me
 To make my home feel like home
To be present in the night
To Be Wary During The Day
To Keep Watch When We are Away
To Love to be noticed
To command respect from all naysayers
To Make me feel safe
To help Theodore Sleep At Night
To Carry Theodore and I, Into Eternity!
"Chinoisserie"
Blue Willow China Was My Mother's China
The Dishes We Used Every Day.  I wish I had China
I love "Chinosserie" in general, which is a play on Blue Willow
And Other China Patterns, but plays with warm colors like red,
Pink, yellow and green, and which plays with and combines patterns
I would love to go shopping in thrift stores and shop for random Chinoisserie
I would find a red porcelain Horse, a Blue Porcelain Lion, A Brown Cat,
Porcelain Cats Sleeping on counters and cupboards, porcelain animals
everyone's hearts are attracted to different china patterns.  Blue Willow
Is The Kind I Had Throughout My Childhood, and the type I Would Like to have.
Delft Blue and White Porcelain Jewelry, Strands of Pearls and Cameos of Ladies
Chinoisserie!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
"Mutual Freedom in MArriage"
Perhaps Among The Best Parts Of My Marriage, is
Our Mutual Freedom.  My Theodore Loves My Independence
He encourages me in a silent way to push boundaries, to explore,
to discover and learn and dare new heights.  He never limits me
In fact, he seems in his silence to be waiting for me to react, to
Do Something, Anything, And It Soothes Him.  He likes being an Author.
Especially because he doesn't like to read, at all!  He loves going to Barnes and Noble
And enjoys, basks, in being in the presence of all these books, they delight him...
libraries, he goes to the public library in between Work Shifts, daily, for several years,
and just likes to be among the books, he doesn't read any of them, of course
He actually checks out DVD's of the latest movies.  But he goes to the library daily.
And I guess DVD's count, if they do, he has checked out every single one
that has come into the library.  I remind him that he is an author...he Grins.
He thinks it is wonderful to be an intellectual and not have to do any of the thinking.
Perhaps among the Best Parts of my marriage, is our Mutual Freedom!
In Jesus Name,
Amen
"Woman, Hush!"
"Woman! Woman!" Theodore comes homes at 3am or so
from God-Knows-Where, probably his dishwashing job,
and calls out for me.  When He is nestled safe in his warm bed,
I rub his feet and back and legs, which are sore from work.
I am always full of questions, But he covers my mouth with his hands
and insists that I turn on the TV "Shut up, Woman!  Shut Up! I'm Watching TV!"
I Just giggle and cuddle into him. he is so sweet and beautiful, I love my husband Theodore.
"No Poetry for Theodore"
My Husband is a nursing child.  He hates my Poetry!
My Poetry, to Him, Is Spoiled Milk!  Absolutely horrible,
To Theodore.  He Likes his loving sweet, warm and straight
 from my bosom, where he is a little baby nestled close held fast.
The instant i say something "Poetic", he gets furious! "Stop It!"
He Yells, at me, "Shut up!" and covers my mouth...Then cuddles in closer
 to my soft white body, warm and loving as ever.  No Poetry for him!
Poor, Poor Young Master Theodore Land,
He has so much Trouble In Managing His Wife!
He Cannot Be Held Responsible For His Wife
So He Doesn't Say Anything about it, At All!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen

Friday, February 10, 2017

"He Went AWandering"
He went awandering the desolate highways, coming home
He didn't realize how far he had to go to get back home
It was 2am and he was walking until the dawn, then fell
into my bed and awoke me, telling me he had walked the fifteen
or twenty miles home, in the freezing January night!
He Murmured later, as I held Him In My Loving Arms, he said,
"I Saw A Falling Star While I Was Walking Home"
I had been asleep in our warm cozy bed all night,
and when he fell down into my bed, at my feet,
I loved him more than life!  I would have killed myself
If he had not made it home. Weep For Us Both,
Lovers dreaming along a world that doesn't understand us
In JEsus' Name,
Amen
"Pain"
The Pain is like The Gentlest ocean waves lapping my grey shores
I feel like a seacoast being eroded by the sea
Precious land so precious to lose to the waves, then
meanwhile the same waves that take away, are building me up
pulling and coming up to kiss me like a flower to the sun
the waves lap my shores with a gentleness that soothes the pain.
I could be in this ocean surf forever and not want to venture beyond
something about the reliability of the tides and the caressing waves
coming into themselves and pulling out again, making me new!
At least I have found some Peace here, on these shores, with these waves,
I have a home here and Peace comes with the breathing in and out of the sea
inspiring me perpetually not to give up hope, never to give in to pain!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

the one that has been faithful in the hard times can be trusted in the best times

Monday, February 6, 2017

"May My Light Shine On"
Show Me A Bit Of Hope, Please!
Please, Show A Bit Of Hope Lest I Die of Sadness!
Show me a garden of weeds in an unattended lot
filled with clover and dandelions.  show me old trees
pushing up in spite of humanity, through the very sidewalk
enchroaching upon their very roots!  Show me a ladybug!
Show Me A Place I am Welcome Anytime! Show Me A Friend!
Show Me Something to Hold On To, Something of Hope
In the face of Humanity.  Show me a Garden not sown by human hand.
I want to see an untended garden tended by God Alone and unattended
Take me to where the wild flowers and weeds grow to reach the sky, so free!
Show me there is freedom for the living things, that there is hope!
My Light does Ceaselessly Shine On Here, In Spite Of Both Evil and Time
Lord God, May My Light Ever Shine, a hope for all!  Let it Shine in the darkness!
One bright hope among so many dark caverns and factories, one Hope
Crying Out In A Crowded City, A Heart that feels A Wilderness in itself
Lord let not loneliness or sadness or sickness or age overcome my light!
Let it ever shine bright, so that---
So that others may see my light, and take hope for themselves~
Because Unless people like me Shine on and on, then,
what is to become of us all?
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!
"Unless"
There is a word that saves: "Unless"
"Unless" each person cares and not harms earth,
they will overcome and desecrate the forests with factories.
"Unless" I do something to stand up for my beliefs,
They will get trampled and murdered by Progress and cities!
"Unless" I make a proactive effort to help someone else,
Then...no one else will be saved! "Unless" I care, noone will!
"Unless" I write my wisdom down, noone will be able to know it!
"Unless You Plant a seed and water a garden and feed someone,
Nobody else is going to do it!  "Unless" You Care enough to try,
To Just Try, Try, To Make A Difference in this Cruel World, Try
Unless people like you try to plant seeds and sow harmony on earth,
to protect and preserve and honor the old and meek and sick,
Unless the little people who feel insignificant, put their minds to it,
Unless our young people make their individual stand against evil,
Then our world is lost!  "Unless."
We are doomed...Unless...someone, somewhere, cares enough to try.
"Unless"...............
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!
"Life"
Life, is heartbreaking and it is too hard to compete
the meek are shunned and shut away, if not slayed
Life is vicious and without money, car or any property,
there is nowhere you are allowed to even go to wander!
Poverty makes me beautiful, money makes me a glutton
Fame makes me a sinner and Crucifixion makes me Sad
Life is way too hard and it beats us to our knees with time
our hearts are breaking and the sorrow is too great to let me weep!
Alone, I stand among the ruins of my past, safe in my humble sanctuary,
My Home, the Only Place I am Allowed To Exist!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen!
If I Were To Write A Love Song
It would say "Where Have You Been?"
Why did everyone abandon me in my solitude?
Why does my husband scorn to let me speak?
The tongeus of angels love to read my books
and my true love chokes my throat with every word
that i let escape from my hopeful lips, they look at me
like i am hopeless and insane, they drug me and confine me,
they all feel I am "The Town's Crazy Fool"
And disrespect all that i ever made.
they laugh me in my face with scorn
and hating me, they urge me to commit suicide.
But I am, not a fool, and i let their cruel taunts
gon right in one ear and right out the other ear
without affecting my heart much.  heartbreak is a lesson
i am learning and watching people break my heart but i'm fine
because i ignore them and stay inside my apartment, alone,
waiting for my husband to visit me from his work at the town
Bars.  I feel these Bars are Gateways to the Underworld,
and verily believe that none enter them but the Damned Souls.
Theodore's bars are temples of satanism, sex, cruelty and sin
The Gateways to hell, I shall never trespass therein!
If I Wrote Them all a love song, twould say,
"Where Have You All Been?"
In Jesus' name,
Amen!
"Lost and Alone In My Own Home Town"
I feel so very far away from everyone
and everywhere that i have ever loved;
as though the world were spinning away
 with time passing I grow old and forgetten
Living my lonely life in the small hometown of mine.
I know it so very well, it is a shame i cannot drive a car
or have a purse of money to buy some pretty things;
and i married a homeless man and eight years later
well we are still married and the turmoil of life grows
and we will hopefully always be together
i feel so far away from my loved and lost ones
and every city street i have ever loved or places to go
I've lost them all, Time has taken them from my hands!
I have grown old and penniless well I have written my heart out
But I tell you this, There is nothing lonelier
Than being alone, penniless and trapped and shunned
in the town that i've lived within for my entire lifetime!
Even though I'm staying in my home in my town....
I feel a million miles away from all that i've lost
all that i've loved, even the stars in the sky
are hidden from me in this cell building complex
I am so trapped and so unloved that i read all
my unloved, unread books of poetry and I just laugh!
So far away i feel from everything I once had,
I've lost everything and everyone, and So I Name This Town
"Memory Memorial", for it is a ghost city abandoned
by everyone but me!
In Jesus' name,
Amen!