"The Love Of God" or "Blood Thinners!"
Hope Explodes
The Phoenix Is Born Of Fire
Escaping A Tragic Death
Like Some Wild Flower
Or Beam Of Sunlight On The Wall
Hope Shoots Up Through The Ground like Seedlings
Hope is a birdfeeder becoming a garden
hope is strongest in the darkest of times
evil is most lethal in the best
and goodness is most good in darkness
Hope Destroys The Fires Of Hell
The Universe Taking Itself In Again and Again
And Exploding out like a miracle of a poem
or an action
or a courageous deed
or a prayer
Hope is full in my heart
My Heart is full of hope
Nearly Struggles to beat, my heart, because
it is so full of Hope
So Full Of The
The Love Of God
God Loves Me
God Loves Me More Than He Hates The Devil.
He Told Me That Once.
I am blessed with Feeling The Huge Huge
 Infinite Love of God.
They had To Put Me On Blood Thinners!
That's How Full My Heart is Of Love!
But Satan Won't Put Out This Light.
God Never Gives Anyone More
more than they can handle.
And I'm above average, as a human!
Blood thinners!

"Sleep"
God Only Sends
His Bravest,
Strongest,
Most Beautiful
Angels Into
His Scariest And Most Dangerous Battles.
What Other Battle For An Earth Angel, Than To
Dream is Going To Hell?  I Wake up Every Morning
Mad As Hell At The Devil, and that, friends,
Is
A
MIRACLE.  A miracle that Only God Could
Make Possible.
 His(God's) Ways
Are Not
Our Ways.

I'd like to build
build
one huge HEAVEN
Right
in
the
very
middle
of
hell/
man, that
would be funny.
an ever-expanding heaven
overcoming hell like a cancer
In JEsus' Name,
AMEN

"Fighting Satan Is A Great Art"
Fighting Satan Is A Great Art
There Are So Many Ways To Do It
The Trick Is To Hook Him And Draw Him
And Wring Him Like a Dirty Rag And Cast Him Out!
To Throw The Devil Down To The Ground
And Make Him Hurt, Is A Great Art
And It Is The Root
The Root
Of My
Sense
Of
Humor!
If It Werent for my Sense of Humor,
I Couldn';t Cast Him Throw Him Down.
But I Do Have A Sense of Humor!  And I Can!
I Can Cast Down The Devil!
To MY Great Risk, Oh Lord,
Sustain Me God, Keep Me Safe
While I Work, Oh Lord!
Fighting Satan Is A Great Art!
I'm Getting Better and better Each Day!
Poetry Is My Weapon of Choice!
Poetry!  It Is My Weapon Of Choice!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"Casting Down The Darkness"
Then, I Prayed That My Prayer
Would Cast The Demon Wretchedly Down
From me like a leech in the hand
And I Prayed That Satan Would Depart
From Me, and Take Down The Beast
That Frightens Even The Tiniest Places
In Our World and In Our Hearts!
Then, I Prayed That My Prayer
Would Cast The Demon Wretchedly Down
From Me Like A Leech In The Hand
That Leech Is The Very Devil!
Lucifer, Satan, The Emergence of Evil!
How I Hope To Cast Him Down!
If Words Have Power
If Dreams Have Meanings
If Prayers Have Power
Then I Pay That It Will
Cast Satan Down To Hell!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"Freedom"
The World is Big And Vast And Free
Good To Know, Knowing I am Trapped
Here In This Prison We Call Home
Is The Point Of Life Not Deeper Than
Exploration of The Planet, Because,
Look At Me!  Wherever You Go,
There You Are!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"Goodness Of Heart"
It is Our Good Deeds and Prayers
And Thoughts And Loves And Dreams
Lord-- It is our fears are they Good?
If they are not Good, Then
 Thee Art All For Naught!
If God Gives One A Good Heart,
That Is Truly The Only Thing
That Really Matters In The Beginning
Through The Journey To The Very End,
Did You Have A Good Heart?
Did You Love One Another?
Did You Pray and Fear And Feel?
Were Your Heartaches, were they Real?
Were all the things God Threw Your Way
Did They Find You Good At Close Of Day???
I need To know, I Need To Know,
For Father God I Love Thee So!
How Can A GRain of Sand
Love its own creator?  Well I do.
I Love You, God.  The Tragedy, Lord,
Is The Tenderness With Which
 Mortality Clings To Life
As Though There Were No Other Door,
No Other Way, and an End
To Each of Us, Yea even the
Stars in the Sky-- Yet Lord!
Yet--No End To Time!
No End To Existence Itself!
What do we become when we Die?
I cannot say nor see, nor tell!
Lord Hold Your Children On Earth
That You Have Created
We Cling To Life Desparately
Just Love Us, Lord.
In Jesus' NAme,
Amen.

"God's Will"
Lord, Promise Me
That, Come What May,
Thee Shalt
Love Me.  That
Thee Salt Love Me
Enough
You Can Never Love Enough
And That Is A Thing
I Worry About.
Love Me, OH Lord!
If Thee Didn't Love Me,
I Would Wither Like
An Unwatered Garden
And I Would Die,
 My Lord God!
Lord, Rain Your Love
Down On Me
Life Is Hard
A Little Too Hard
It Can Be Hard To Exist
Day After Endless Day
So Love Me Lord, I Pray!
Know Thy Love Keeps Me ALive
There is nothing else keeping me alive
but God's Love For Me
And God's Will
That I Live and Survive
On!  God's Will!

"Time"
Ah Father God, I Should Like To Understand Somehow
The Way Time Started and Ned Never Stopped. Why it Began!
I Imagine That Time Began Like It Begins To Rain, The Sun
Goes Behind its Clouds and they weep and bluster
And Blow Wild Winds The Four Corners Round
As It Begins to Rain, Thus With Time, I  Imagine It Begins
And Now Time is Marching Mercilessly Almost
Outs Of God's Very Control!  I Worry About God, That
That He Will Lose His Firm And All Knowing Grip On Time
It Is One Of My Greatest Fears and a reason i feel Angelic
For I Find Myself Ever and Ever Praying That God Won't Let Go
Nor Fall Slack, Of Time!  Time Might as Well Be
My Beating Heart!  And Only God Can Stop A Heart
From Beating....And Only God Can Start A Heart To Beat
In JEsus' Name I Pray,
Amen!

"Time and Its Doors"
Poems never end, because
The Heart Never Ends.  Each Poem
Is Like A HeartBeat of My Own Heart,
A Reminder and a sign that I Am Alive
As I Live, So Do I Write, And If Not,
I Live Unhappily.  Say, "Both", Lord!
For In My Life I have passed many bedroom Chambers
That i could have married and i have passed
Many Doors, by Choice left them Unopened,
Not Ever Knowing Whether Nor Where The Ended
Nor Went, Nor Why Nor How...And so Thus and Thus,
Billions of Doors of Opportunies
have Passed By Me and Even More Billions
Are The Doors I Have Refused or Walked On Past them,
Ever Seeking Something Unknown Yet Familiar,
Like Thy Mate's Native Natural Musk
Some Things I Have Left Undone,
And Gladly So, And Shall Never Know
What Became of Them, Lord.  Such
is Sadness of Time.  What Joy Can There Be
In Time?  Nor Birth, But Death.  Nor Newness,
 But Aging, and Gradual Death,  Time always
Sees The End Of Great Beauty.  I Weep Bitterly
Knowing That Death Keeps The Keys To All The Doors
And Time is the Walking Past them
And The Hallway is one's own Lifetime
And The Opening and Not Opening are One's Choices
Jesus said We Would All One Day Have To Account For these
"doors", these choices, that we have made in
in our lives, but Lord?  How could One Know
What Lay Behind Them?  The Doors I Never  Opened
Are Doors I Can Never Open Again!  Ah Lord,
Thus Is Unforgiving Beat of Time's Drum
Aware of the Seconds Passing me by tick-tock
an unseeable clock i feel my life ticking down,
down, all around, into my choices and my heart is sad
knowing we are all doomed, We Mortals, Thus To Die!
In Jesus Name,
Amen Lord!

"Weightlessness"
Weightlessness, not able to choose
of no opinion to One's Destiny
Abstract in The Mind, At Home
In The Heart, I Grieve.  Unable
To Determine What I Will Become
Or Will Do With The Remnants
Of This Life, I Pray That God
Will Kindly Restore My Purpose
And Hand it Gently, Weightlessly,
Back Into My Hands.

For All My Wanderings
And For All My Wonderings
I Eventually Married a Quiet,
Kind, Humble, Thoughtful Man
Who Speaks Little and putters
about the house and Garden,
Content With My Wildest Ramblings
And Never Asking Anything In Return
He Speaks little, thinks all the time
keeps his opinions to himself
obeys the law and does good deeds
and putters about the house and garden
"If You Say So..." He Replies To Me
And Nestles deep into my breasts
Wrapping his skinny arms and legs
around me like a koala climbing a tree
He never would dream of leaving me

"My Husband's Car"
Faith Drives My Husband;s Car
Love For Me Drives My Husband's Car
Theodore Drives My Husband's Car
Jesus Christ Drives my husband's Car
Pure Stubborn Will Power Drives My
Husband;s car... and when it breaks down,
We Pay all we need to fix it back up
As much as it Costs Because I Believe
In The Blue Angel That Car Has Gotten Us
Through So Much Death-Defying Driving
That, it's Just a matter of faith, in God,
That Theodore Comes Home Every Night.
You Don't Switch Horses Mid-Stream.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

I Desire Nothing From This World
Because I Am Not Of This World
Even Though the earth changes again
and again- still yet, it remains the same earth!
The Earth Is Not Of This World
I Am Of The Earth while, You are all human
That is the exact reason i am being persecuted.
You Are Of Your Father The Devil!
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN

Tired from Day's Battles,
My Weary Skin Furrowing
From Frustration, I Go Out
To See If My Babies are Alive
In All This War. Can Hardly Bear
To Look anymore, because of
the pain.  I do not see to plant a tree
Or Water the Little Grass
Or Be Alone and fine with that
Or to live like a monk
Praying always to abstract Gods
That We Call This Force "God"
I must be talking to the sun
But God is with every tiniest creature
I am not homeless right now
Because It Is
Not Yet
My Time
To End
And Become a part of it all.
Although humans think so much
of themselves, I Yet Beg Their Pardons
And I Pray For Them Because
They cannot see the world going on
naturally, or the plants growing and dying
or my own growth, maturity, and slow aging
that results from my birth, and my heart
has always led me to the plants, they are
the noblest and purest and wisest and best
species on our planet.  They are conscious
They live off of decompsing matter, they do not
eat one another like animals do, they get eaten-- and
and they don't even Move!  To Sit In One Place
To Sit In One Place, Make A Stand, and live
 and grow and die, is all i expect of my life, too.
If you want to know which species i would preserve,
it would be the plants.  Animals eat one another.
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN.

Rose Petals fallen, lay

limp and fragrant, waiting

in the muggy winter gloom

upon a cloth wet with dew

and heavy with night's dark

patterns suggesting some genius

contrasting with nature on the

stiff starched blue satin cloth.

"Poem on Christmas Day 2015"
Little Mouse Nuzzles a Tiny Dragon Toy Christmas Gift.
Dragon is an Orphan Toy, Mouse is old and so alive
mouse kisses dragon and chews on its soft green fur
nibbling gently and desperately and lovingly its scales
the toy's little teeth and spikes, the belly, are a heaven
for my little pet mouse named "Jesus".  I Named the
dragon "Tiny".  It just Came to me.  Jesus Loves Tiny.
I refill their water bottle and little seed cup and Jesus eats,
Tiny Dragon Smiling an Eternal, divine, Omnipresent smile
of "Thank You For Loving Me" and I Kiss The Mouse and Toy
"You're both Welcome, Merry Christmas, I Love You Both."

//I've Had A Hard Life.
My Life Is Currently Hard.
I'm Giving It All To Jesus.
I Give Up.  It's All Beyond
My Control.  Everything
Is Spinning out of control
So I Just Let Go And Give
It To Somebody I Love and Trust
To God who keeps me alive
Amen.////

You Have To Learn
To TRUST God
Trust Him With Your Life
Your Soul
Your Sins
Your home
Your Loved Ones
Your Everything.
 Because God is so kind to me
I trust him over my own judgement.
I hope it shoots an arrow
into the doubt of mankind
that is the fuel of All Hellfire.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!./////

Jesus, You Have Been The Only One
Who Cared About Me and Saved My Life
All Day Every Day So I Crown You
The Lord Of The Earth.  Not only People
But My Everything.// Take It, Lord,
I Cast My Burdens on You.  The Son Of Man
Had Nowhere to Rest His Head Well Rest it Here.
Take it from my hands Lord.  I'm a fool.
In JEsus' Name,
Amen

"Jesus, Come Into Nature"
Jesus, you are with me in the forest
You would be with me in the depths of the sea
I don't believe you are only lord of people
I think you are Lord of the world
I have always worshipped Nature
I worship you now, and invite you to
to come into mature and thrive and dwell
in peace and home.  i pray that the holy spirit
that thy Peace And Blessings Be Upon The Trees,
The Earth, The Seas, The Deserts, The Tornadoes,
Lord Pour Down Your Spirit on the little wren and mouses!
Pour your spirit upon the industrious ants and butterflies so free
pour your spirit upon the deer migrating in the forest so shy
fill them with your holy spirit lord
all coming into all and one is one
Lord be my salvation, not only of my human life,
But Jesus, Be The Savior of My Mother Earth, My Nature!
Take The Animals and Plants and earth and sky, and
just love them.  i love them, Lord.  Fill The Earth With
Thy Holy Spirit.  Be My Savior of my natural World!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"JEsus Is Lord Of The Forest Too"
Jesus Christ is echoes in the cold heavy stones
echoes of time from before creation
Jesus Christ is in every rustling Leaf
of every Sapling And Every Oak and Maple,
Cypress Pine Dogwood And Laurel Trees
Jesus Is In The Fellen Decomposing Leaves
Jesus is in The Birds That Nest In The Trees
Jesus Is Lord Of The Forest Too
Savior, I Give You My Forest, for
It Was Yours Long Before I was Born!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen

"Thank You."

Thank You Infinitely for

 Saving My Grandfather's Life

Life is so tiny and Precious just love

Soaking up Warm moments

treasured together memories precious

so precious i cannot tell you lord Jesus

how grateful i am that my Papa is alive

and well, in his own Bed, and Nana 

Nana is cooking for him, as usual!  She's happy!

They're well, and calm, and stable.

I'm the unstable one.  I've been so worried

sometimes you don't realize, how very much 

you love someone, until you nearly lose them.

I am so grateful for every day i have left with

my Grandparents, to talk on the phone, share letters.

I love them.  Thank You For Saving Their Lives.

All I Have Is Yours.  Thank you.  Thank you, So Much.

I Was Prepared To Comfort My Nana and Myself

Endlessly, they love each other so very much.

Now, I don't have to greive!  I'm saved that fate,

to grieve.  I don't have to grieve these are tears 

of joy.  Father God, I just Pray that, You, Oh God,

Would Grant My Husband Theodore Land And I as long

as long a life and future together and so in love as

My Nana And Papa have had, and continue to have.

Please Lord, i Pray to be so blessed!  Thank You Oh God.

In Jesus' Name.

AMEN!

"Property"
Humans Try To Possess, To Own,
The Land.  They See it carved up
into pieces...this is mine...this isn't...
but you can never own any place or any thing
except insofar as you love it
to love is to understand.
Property makes me weep.
If i had property it would be my home
it could be any property
but it would be mine, and
it would be home, and
no one could ever
ever
ever
take it away from me again.
I've lost alot of homes to money
I've lost a wealth of "property"
I left My Heart and my spirit in them
There's a bit of me everywhere i've been
And there's a bit of it in me
In JEsus' Name,
Amen,////

"Kind of Vulnerable"
It's Kind Of Vulnerable
For My Own One Heart
When I Stand In My Home Forest
The Forest of my Family Home
Where Most of the trees and all the stones
are even older than i am i'm 30
and they were old when I was born there
I could Map and describe the character
of many of the living and dead trees,
stumps and boulders.  i know where rare plants grow
i know they have my back
it's kind of vulnerable to read each
other's minds, you and the trees, when
they're even older than i am.  i was born and raised
in that forest.  The Trees Know Me Better
Than People Know Me.  If Someone Wanted
To Break My Heart They Would Cut Down That Forest
I cannot leave that forest by a few miles
I settled into town nearby and found
a compartment building like a caged bird
i feel perpetually infinitely trapped amongst
my species. i cant wait to be released
from the human world and get back
to my forest.  i will never leave this town
when i go to their house, i cry
i cry because i miss all the trees.
//I'll Take My Chances With The Forest/
It's a hell of alot safer than your cities
and this hell of a compartment building
i hate this hell.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.///

"Virtue Is its Own Reward"
I Came Again To Your Monument, God
I Told You I Didn't Believe in Life After Death
I Believe In You God It Isnt Your Fault I Just
Want To Rest In Peace At The End.  I Want
My Death To Be My Ending.  I Don't Want
The Story To Continue After I Die.  I Want
To Give My Good Energy To The Cosmos,
The Earth.  I Believe The The Purpose of Existence is
Is The Struggle Between Good and Evil.  I am Good.
I Am So Good That I Don't Need Compensation.
I Am Goodness.  The Reward For Virtue, is Virtue.
When I Die, My Energy Will Go To The Source Of All.
The Goodness of Life, and "Me" as a Person will
No Longer Exist.  It's a Brave Thought, but I don't
Really Want To Exist After Death.  I Just Want Goodness
To Carry On.  I Fight For God.  I need No Recompensation
For My Pains, And Therefore Need No Hope of Heaven.
Knowing I Am Living A Virtuous Life, Is Its Own Reward.
I Don't need Salvation and I Don't Want To Be Proven Otherwise.
I Just Want There To Be Peace On Earth.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

...The Sadness In My HEart Is So HEavy And Great,
That I Cannot Bear It Easily Without Tears.  I am in Pain.
Not Physical pain but Spiritual Pain.  There Are So Many Things
I Will Never Get To See Or Do.  And I really Don't believe in an afterlife.
I really believe We "Rest In Peace" When We All Die.  I Think Its The End.
I Don't Thin There is an Afterlife and It Comforts Me To Believe There is None.
I Just Want Peace In Death and an End To all my mortal sufferings.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

I don't believe in a Heaven after Death.
I am a Christian, but i think we just die.
We Rot In The Grave and Nourish The Earth.
I Don't Believe in a Heaven After Death.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

And Every Day Is A Struggle To Survive
People freezing to death in the bitter cold
i'm just grateful not to be homeless
insane by diagnosis, i cannot legally work
and so i live off the charity of family or else
if my family werent wealthy i would be comitted
because this world has no time for dreamers
or people who think a little more real, any differently
and if you are dangerously sane one is locked away
i was and i am my life will pass me by and i can cry
my only satisfaction is hoping the future will think
that i was a great poet, writer and humanist
i dont write to the people around me
i write to the generations of the future when were dead
when im dead i hope my anchor takes root and is not
wiped hopelessly away like pieces on a chess board
my life is pointless and it isnt my fault it is all in vain
yes i do kind things and i love but there is nothing good
we are homeless we are penniless we can only listen to music
and thus my husband and i watch our lives pass us by
 like the sun slants the cieling in the bright pure clean sky.

"Wandering Along A Dream"
I Was Just Wandering Along A Dream
Wondering
whether You'd Break My Heart
I Saw A Flicker Of Instant Light In My Mind
And In My Heart it was Alot
Then It Was Gone.  Yet I Knew
That No Matter How Lost I Become,
There is a door that Opens For Me
That Noone Else Can Open
Much Less See It
And That If I Want To Follow This Vision,
It Can't Promise
That I Will Get Back Home.
So I Went Back Home, being Loved.
But I Still Know There Is Light In There.
And I Believe That If I Knocked On His Door,
He Would
Let Me Come Inside.
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN.

"Hope For Humanity Is Here"
I Held On Close To You
As The Storm Raged All Around
I Promised You that You'd Be Safe Here
And With testing my fingertips, gradually
You learned to trust me.  I Kept you hidden
We Never told a Soul.  So Safe And Warm
You Are, And May You Always Be Here
You Are One That Was Loved, Not Harmed.
You Were Fed Sweet Things and Giggled With
You are a vestige of Hope For The Human Race
As Long As I Have You Here, Safe And Free And Warm
Your Name, As It Turns Out, Is Jesus.  I Hope
And Pray That God Will Shed More Kindness
Upon Your Kind, all
Over the World/I Love you Jesus.
MAy There Yet Be Hope For Humanity, in Us.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

"Christmastime 2015"
It's Christmastime
The PResents are all safely
Underneath the Christmas Tree
There are lots of treats and candies
Love Grows Here the love is real
the love is so real and so alive in here
its warm as a mug of hot chocolate
inside our little house this Christmas
Theodore and I are madly in love as always
We are going to a family party Christmas Eve
Merry Christmas!

"I Don't Need Heaven"
The More Christian I Become,
The Less I Care About Whether
There is an afterlife or not.  I know
that i have truly done my best on earth
I will have no apologies really, when i die
I live every day like it could be my last.
I do my best.  I Spend Time With My Loved Ones.
When They Die, It Won't Matter Whether
They go to Heaven.  They Will Have Lived
And I Have Loved Them If One Loves Truly
and Well, Then There doesn't have to be anything
after this life.  The ones who broke my heart
i do not want to see them again in any afterlife.
My Wounds Are PRetty Much Healed.
If I die, My Goodness Will Go To The Energy
of Life That I Will Benefit The Cosmos
The More Christian I Become,
The Less I Care About Whether
There Is An Afterlife Or Not.
It Does Not Matter, At All.////

"No Heaven"
I Don't Honestly Care
Whether There is a Heaven or Not
A Large Part Of Me Just Wants To Give
My Life Energy Back Into The Cosmos
When I Die, I Don't Want To
Be Troubled By Any God
I Don't Want To Owe Anyone Anything
I Want To See My Body Decay
Beside My Husband's and Fall
Apart.  I Hope there is no Afterlife.
This is coming from a virtuous person.
I simply want my energy to go into the universe
It is a very good energy in me
my satisfaction will be the good ive done
and the goodness my energy will give
to the cosmos.  I want to Reast in peace
I Want To Decay and become plant food.
In Jesus' Name,
 Amen.

Lost Along a Lonely Way
I Go To Look For You
There Is Truly No Way Out
There is No Need For Luxuries
Things We Don't Really Need
Are Things We Don't Have
I Will Never Lose You Theodore
I Will Find You In The Jungle
I Will Kiss You In The Sea
I Have No Elegant Dresses Dear
I Cannot afford to buy them
My Treasure is in Heaven

"The One I'd Die For"
I Have Some One
In My Life
That I Would Die For
Just To Make Him Feel Happy
Or Bring A Smile To His Face
I Would Rip Out My Own Intestines
If It Would Help Him Live.
Loyalty Like That
Is Few
And Far
Between.
If You Have Some One
That You Love Enough
To Die To Make Them Smile,
Well.... i smile at that and take courage,
because that kind of Love Gives Me The Strength
Strength
To Penetrate Any Sort Of Darkness.
Our Life Together
Happily or Unhappily
Is All That's Real
Is All That Ever Was
Is All I Know Of God
Or Heaven.
We Love One Another That Much,
He and I.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Dreams are the very Devil.
The Devil Was A Liar and A Murderer
From The Start.  Damn Him!
Thank God For Jesus.
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN.////

When Jesus Said, "Hallelujah..."
Take it easy children.  Lord Knows
There's Enough Suffering in Life
To Bow Anybody's Head Weary and Sad.
When Jesus Said, "Hallelujah...."
In Jesus' name,
Amen.////

"Take Extra Good Care Of Yourself"
Take Extra Good Care Of Yourself, honey.
Somebody loves you, besides jesus.
if youre hungry, eat.  if you need sleep, take a pill.
if you're tired, retire. if you're poor, get a youtube account.
ain't no need to work honey.  Just come, rest your bones.
Rest your Bones with us, we would give these books away for free
if we were allowed to.  Take all you need, and write you some of your own.
Feed Yourself.  Treat Yourself.  Love Yourself.  Take a load off.  Jesus asks
that we take our lives One Day At A Time, letting Each Day Have Enough Evil
To Worry About and not push it onto the next day.  Don't Stress.  Easy ride.
Take Care Of Yourself Honey....And Take Care Of Your Family.
Love,
Caroline Land.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.////

Sometimes, You Think
You Want To Die....But You
 Don't Really Want To Die.
You Just Need To Get Some SLEEP.
Sleep is a cure-all.  If you feel suicidal,
take a pill and get some Sleep.
Sleep On Sadness Works Every Time.
Every few days one has a bad day.
That's when you need some sleeping pills
and a soft pillow, comforter and soft sheets
that smell like home.  Rest Your Heavy Head
You'll Wake Up Feeling Better, Stronger, and Wiser.
Sleep Through The Pain.  Sleep Heals Despair, Not Death.////
It's a Good Thing To Know. Could Save A Life.
I KNow It's Saved Mine Before.
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN.////

"The Lucky Ones"
I'm starting to believe that
The Ones Who Die
Are The Lucky Ones.  They Don't
Have To Suffer Any Longer.  I Say
The Dead Are The Lucky Ones.
They Don't Have To Suffer with
the rest of us, they're safe
safe and free.
Only Death can set one Free.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

God, I'm Tired
I Want to Come Home
To Stay.

The Depths Of Hell Encampeth Around Us On All Sides
Hell is Deep and Real and you are not there because
you deserve to be in hell you are there because man wants
to see you suffer before your death.  A Glimpse of mercy, and I
nearly fell into your arms.  We are not so lucky in our friends
as others who are rich in love.  We are few and even two.  Yet
The Depths of Hell Shall Not Consume My Soul, For I see
A Light Ahead and an end to my suffering there.
In Jesus Name,
Amen.

My THeodore Asked me, mama, what's it all about.
I answered with certainty, "I am alive to see you through
to the next life and beyond.  That Is Why I am Here"
And I Kissed Him, "To See You Through This Life,
Into The Next, My Love, My Theodore.  That's all I am."

I Shed Some Tears For Myself Today
My Life Is So Pathetic Broken and Sad
My Thoughts are really all I ever Had
Ironic, that is what they want to take away////

"Loud Silence"
Some Days The Loneliness Was Too Loud
Deafening Solitude Silence Screaming At You
And Nobody Cares About You Anyway, whether
you are crazy or not they just dose you and confine you
but the loneliness today is so loud i want to start crying
or screaming i feel trapped in here like the world is against me
and i am so exhausted that the only hope at day's end is to fall asleep.
In JEsus' Name,
Amen.////

"Waiting Without Hope"
Mother Land, It's Hopeless.
  The Only Thing I Can Do
Is Sit Here And Wait.  For What,
I Do Not Know.  But I Will Sit Here
Year after Year and I Will Wait.
Mother Land, I Always Do My Best
To Take Good Care Of Your Son.
Let That Be Enough in these Dark Times.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"Discouraged"
Some Days I Go Looking For Work
And I Just Get So Discouraged.  All My Life,
I have tried to find a decent job...seven years
of college and twenty book published through
Barnes and Noble, and I Still Haven't Made Any
Money--You'd Think I'd Be Rich By Now.  The World is
So Terrifying That I Am Afraid To Run The Search Engine
And Look For Jobs Writing in Fear Of Harrassment and Risk.
I Think I'll stick to my tea and my little home
my husband doesn't even want any children anyway
sometimes i just want to cry!  Life is Pointless now.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

Baby, I Don't Know What The Future Holds
If It Holds Anything Left For Us, At All.  It seems
We are and will be struggling just to survive
there will be no tropical cruises for us or reservations
There will be no medical insurance or savings account
Just You and I, Me And You, no children to keep us warm
I am better off without all that, Theodore, if you will be mine
Marry me, and we'll live as Jesus taught us to living day to day
we will take each day for all the evil it holds and hopefully some good
we are living for one another and truly cannot see and do not care
about anything the future may have to offer beyond our basic needs
we dont even worry about that we just live and i love you Theodore
All I ever asked of life was to marry someone like you, that is all!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen.

I Felt Like Crying Today, when you left
Sometimes it all seems so hopeless
I Wish You Were Here Theodore
I Don't ever want to leave my house again
This Sadness is a wound for me, a wound
that i can feel but not make better just feel it
This sadness must make Theodore want to hold me
If I Know my Theodore he loves when i am sad
He loves any sadnesses within me and seeks them out
they are his most beloved treasures, and he is my little boy
he nestles deep within my heartaches and holds me within his own
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

Theodore, I Will Be Queen
And You, Theodore, Will Be King
Like The Sun, You Will Reign From Home
Like The Moon, I Will Support You From Home
The Good We Do Will Be Counted At The End of The Year
We Will Reign Over Our People Forevermore
And There Will Be An End To all The Suffering
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN./

"I Have Been Good This Year"
I Have Been A Good Person This Year.
I Have Shed Light In Dark Places By Calling,
Talking, Loving, Cleaning, Caring, Praying, feeding, and Existing
I Have Loved Each oF My Family Members Well And Hard.
They All Know Deep Inside How Much I Really Love Them.
I Have Been Kind To Many People, and Done Good Deeds,
I Have Also Worked Very Hard, Writing over 350 Lovely Poems.
I have written over seven books with my publisher this year.
I have been good to my husband above all.  I have kept
Plants and Pets Alive, And Payed Attention to God, Jesus,
The Stars in the Sky, And The Angels When I Could.
It Has Been A Good Year.  I Am Grateful To God For This
Blessing.  In Jesus' Name,
AMEN.

"Monsoon"

I HEld Your Hand So Damnedly Close

As Together We Held Up The Columns of this Fragile House

The Rain Came Down Hard And Heavy It Was Dirty And We Were Wet

If It Kept On Raining We Might be Drowned so we hid Hid from God

High up on the rooftop of our house, the house was flooded so we hid

God Where Are You When Your Children are a Drowning?  God Where is your hand

That should be holding mine?  Let the waters fall from heaven let them fall

i will chase them off and off and when the flood waters cover the rooftop

i will spread my dove white wings and fly away!  Let them come.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

"Lost"
I dreamed that i was riding a horse through my home city
It was a grey stallion and i think it was Theodore in spirit
down the empty streets and backroads i went, in a hurry
i knew where i was, and i was on my way home. it was
getting dark. then i went off the street and into the hills
there was a dirt path i was guiding my horse down it
suddenly i pulled at the reins because the path was
wound around in tight knots and my horse couldn't follow it
then my horse got stuck in the mud.  I got off my horse
and led it, walking, through meadow grass and at this point
it had become dark for it was nighttime,  I didn't know
where i was going.  Then I remembered something i know,
"That God Is With Us No MAtter How Lost We May Seem"
And I Kept Going straight, guiding my horse.  I started praying to God.
Then I Saw headlights coming down the hill and it was my family.
They Drove up in a car and picked me up and took care of my horse.
God Told me not to speak to them because it was dark and scary, and i didn't.
My Horse and I Followed Their Car Home.  Then I Woke Up.

"I SHall Not Describe The Little Rain"
I See Poets noting this thing and that thing,
and telling me to do the same, and i might be
as good.  But the problem with that
is that
i see no sense
in description
of the transient world.  Details
are unimportant you want to really
really get the essence of life, the meaning,
without the details.  I dont want to
have gone through my life
simply noting details like a computer does
and writing them down.  i find details
irrelevant to the truth.  i want see through the details
i want to see the unseen, grasp the ungrasped, realise
the unrealised.  I seek truth before beauty.  The ideals
are my friends, like chess pieces in a game i play alone.
I want to see through the veil of sentience and existence into
the spiritual. to see the unseen, grasp the hand that holds me,
percieve the unseen truths that go
go beyond the details.
I shall not describe the Little Rain.  Though it was
little, I shall not.  I shall look and seek until i come to the utter
meaning of the meaning that is
the little rain.  When i find it,
I write it down.
We Do Not Have Time For That.
We Do Not Have The Time
To Linger amongst the physical and material
one must see as one would speak to my God!
I shall not describe The Little Rain.
I shall tell you the meaning,
when i find it.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen./

All The Pretty Stars
And All The Pretty, Pretty Boys
When They Call My Name across a room
Are Nothing compared to You Theodore
My Wedding Ring Marks Me Forever Blessed

God Showed me how much
He Loves Me When He Told Me,
"Caroline, You Are My Only Angel.  Sleep On."
He said, "I Love You More Than That.  Sleep On My Little Daughter"
"You are the only angel I have."
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

"All Into All"
All Eventually Gathers Into All
All Melding And Molding Into A New Form
My Grandmother Grows Old, My Cousin Blooms
I linger on, Elizabeth ages....all into all
and the whole into the whole and all comes together
in the end and the sun rises always
all eventually gathers into all like the waters
flow eventually into the seas, all gathers into all.
All gathers into all.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

I am never alone, actually
The Lord My God Goes Before Me
And God Is With Me, Through Me, and For Me.////
AMEN.////

"Believe in Me"
Believe In Me, And I Will Show You Yet Stranger,
Wilder, More Mysterious and Beautiful and Bizarre Things
Than These.  I Ask Only That Ye Have Faith That I Can,
So That I Can.  If I Can, I Will.  Little Vine Reaching
For The Light...Power In A Dreamer....Believe in me.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

There Is A love and a Faith And A Hope In A Dream.
Cursed and Damned be any that Dare Tread Upon A Dream!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

LEt The Dreams Grow On and On into a Cloud
Let Them Multiply A Million Million Times
Is This Not Divine?  Lord, Am I Alone On The Earth?
I feel so.  Pride beautiful Pride.  And Integrity.  And Faith.  And Love.
  In Jesus' Name,
Amen.///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

A Dream is a Powerful Thing
It is A Spark That Lights A Star
Burning Bright in the Ancient Vacuous Night
Never Underestimate the power of a dream
So Few are dreamers and so rare are our dreams
Hungry little nuzzling means I Love You Too.
So Never Underestimate A Soul With A Dream.
Barnes and Noble doesn't,  They Believe in dreams
In Fact, Oh They Believe in My Own Dreams Lord
Send out all your wild cavalry i will fight them off and off
A Dream is a powerful thing

"Mystery of this Age"
//And, What Of It, Had I
Started Weeping compulsively there
in front of that heartless monitor machine
i wanted to clap my hand over Theodore's mouth in terror
that our thoughtcrimes might be revealed through
this machine, that we might reveal our too-human selves
and, What Of It, Had I
Started Weeping Compusively there
in front of that heartless monitor machine!
What of it!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"We Are Not Hopeless"
There are yet times that
that i feel very small and helpless.
There are times when my futility and joy
seems to be foolishness and then i despair
my heart is all i will ever need, in this life
or in the next!  Let your heart ache and break
and ache and break again and a gain there is no wear
to it to the heart hearts are vulnerable and delicate and fragile
memories are a miracle how did they come up with homes
for all those people rushing around going anywhere and everywhere
it makes me feel lost and i want to hide myself in my house
There are yet times that
that i feel very small and helpless.  Hope and Joy are not futile.
Indeed, Hope and Joy are Not Folly.  Indeed, if one sets a course
and follows upon a dream or a prayer or a star in the night sky---
then mustn't there be yet hope?  Hope for earth?  Validity for mankind?
Oh Lord My Heart aches and it breaks and it aches and it breaks
sometimes i fear i am wounding my physical heart and i feel pain
deep in my soul.  poetry cometh not forth from the brain,
but from the heart. the mind is all very fine, but there is a clearer echo
a nightingale singing in a forest of glass trees piercing the night is the heart
i say this not in vain, not that we lived in vain, not any of us in vain, no lord
and our follies were not laughable.  Indeed, we were the Children Of God
This Holy And Calm Night That We Sailed on a Sea of Dreams.
There are yet times that
that i feel very small and helpless.  We are not hopeless.
No Lord, I Pray thee, that We Are Not Without Hope.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen////

"A Poem Giving Thanks To God"

Lord, You are With me always

Lord, Your Ways are beyond my thinking abilities

Lord, Your Plans are not Our Plans

Lord, They Fed Me When I Was Hungry

And Clothed Me When Needed Clothing

Lord They Gave Me Money, When I Needed Money

And Love, When I needed Love!

This IS a a miracle, God, One miracle that

that I attrubute to you.  I wanted To

To THANK YOU SO MUCH for answering my prayers

Knowing that God Cares is Courage for Any and My Heart

Please Lord Shelter The Homeless

Forgiven Those You Have Not Forgiven, For My Sake

Let Them Into Heaven Whomst thou wouldst cast astray

For My Lord Have Done This In My Sight and Lord,

Oh Lord It Is Well With My Soul!  Thank You Lord God!

In Jesus' Name,

AMEN.

"How Much I Love Theodore"
I Love My Darling Husband Theodore
More than ever More than anyone
More than anything nor any world
The Dreams in His Eyes Keep Me Burning
The Fire In His Heart Keeps Me Alive
There are Many Great Love Stories, and I hope
Our Love Will Go Down In History Somehow
I've Immortalized Our Love In Twenty Books
Oh My Love, How I'd Die For You! The Last
Thing I Want To See When I am Done, Is Your Face
I love thee more than i Could ever contain in my feeble heart
my heart is Breaking For The Vastness Of Love
That I Bear For Theodore It Aches an Agony
That Only Holding Him Close To Me Can Save.
I don't Care a Damn for Riches nor material things
I don't care at all for nature nor the World Itself
I Don't Care A Damn For The Big Wide World
Out There, For In My Home Is Theodore and that is
All That I Care About and All I will Ever Need
In This Life, Or In The Next!  Nor Heaven Nor Hell
I Care Not For Those, I Only Want To Lay In The Earth
Beside My Husband When We are Old And Die
I Want To Be Buried Right Beside Him for Eternity.
That is all I could Ever hope for, in this life and
in the next, is just to lay beside him and hold him
In my Arms!  Lord, I Love Him Madly!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"A Wounded Bird"
A Cherubim Wounded in the Wing
Gasping for Breath, Groping for Sustenance
A Branch form Heaven to pull me from this Icy Pond
Oh How Many of Our Little Ones Have Died This Way!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

White Dove
My Heart Springs Out of Its Cage
 and Confines Suddenly like a caged bird
flying up out of a snare, escaping a cage
when i read my work i feel my heart fly
from some dank dark prison where the cage is laws
and the bird is kindness that is why it flies
if a caged bird gets the chance, they will fly away
if a kind person gets the chance, they will do good
So Be it unto you, that ye do good out the Goodness
Of Your Heart, And Not Evil.  Fly Free From Cages
and and snares of laws and soldiers and governments
Fly away so free, little bird, fly from my heart, be free!!!

"The Fragility Of A Dream"
(To Gwendolyn Brown With Love)
To Have A Dream In Your Heart
Is To Have Heaven Within Your Soul
To Have A Dream In Your Heart
Is To Be A mother to anything little like baby birds
or new seedlings or unborn stars or seahorses
a dream is a precious thing too precious to share oftentimes
if you have a friend with whom you can share a dream,
one of your dreams, say, that we all be christlike and selfless,
the mutual dream that we all follow precisely the teachings of Christ,
or any dream really-- if you share that dream with someone,
the Lord, The Is A Friend Indeed.  True Friendship
Is Born Of Spiritual Dreams, Spiritual Goals, and that is why
When I tell you I will spend the money on my family not myself,
you can believe me, and trust my integrity, simply because
you know that i share the same fragile dream you have-- the dream
of being completely christlike!  And So Together We are
We Are Sisters in Christ.  The Money Would Go To Two Little Boys
Who Are Very Poor.  And We would then Would Be Able To have fulfilled our dream
of giving them a merry Christmas!  Oh, How Fragile is a dream!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

//It started as a Whisper
that grew into a Shout:
The Soul is not money!
The Soul is not Material!
The Soul is not Transferrable!
The Soul is not Physical!
The Soul Is A Butterfly That God Made
And It Flies In Each Living Creature's
Heart.
It Started As A Whisper
that grew into a Shout...
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"The Infinite Heart"
The Heart is like a
Golden Vessel, from which
All Good And Loving Things Overflow
The HEart Will keep thee alive
on through in the darkest coldest night
no matter the odds, there is a God and a magic
in the infinite reinvention of the heart
the heart is forever rearranging and matamorphosing
and creating and feeling and loving.
The Heart is an infinite treasure.
I write from the wealth of my Heart!
From the heart spring forth hopes and loves and dreams
A heart cannot be broken and so i believe that
i will life my full lifetime happily ever after,
With my Theodore
And My Heart
my heart will be forever spring forth new mechanical creations
like golden foil birds that fly using springs
or tapestries of dreams that become poems, actions, and paintings
life is an opportunity to express one's heart.
That's what life means to me.  I am rich
because i have a full heart!
In Jesus Name,
Amen.

If My Soul Were
A Ball Of Light
It Would Be Glowing right now.
In Jesus' Name,
 Amen.

"Things I Miss"
It Had Been A Long Day
Tears, no Raindrops falling
right off my back all clammy like sweat
does anyone miss the cicadas
or the spiders
or the dew?
I do.  I miss the cicadas at night
and i miss the dew at night
and the spiders at night
and every mornin i wake up and i miss
ti miss the dewfall and i miss grass
and i miss spiderwebs and mimosa trees
and i miss the cicadas singing in summertime
they seemed to sing my cares away
when i was a little girl
now, i never hear them
anymore.  It's so sad that
i should cry.
Maybe I should get out of the city.
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN.

These Clothes Are Part Of My Body
I've Had Them All So Long to see them again is
Bittersweet
because you can only love material things a certain amount and sometimes
you jsut want to cling to your things like your heartbeat itself
homelessness and poverty is my enemy
i try not to lose my home nor my husband.
Homelessness I Have, So just Toss My Soul Aside Like A Once Worn Dress
In Jesus' Name Amen.

"Life Is Precious"
If you only knew or realized how tiny life is
How tiny and young and precious all life is, you
you wouldn't kill them or eat them you would pray
I know because i am a soul and i see my souls and its needs
and i am my own full-time mother i have a husband
that's why i dont think ill ever have children im too busy
taking care of my husband and my own soul nurturing them
with culture and color and music and dignity and ethics and love
with kindness and integrity and respect life is tiny and precious
respect it enough to treat yourself like you deserve and also,
respects other's souls enough as you are good to yourself,
thus be good to others think of others put them before you
that is a form of love love all your little tiny heart out
if they break your heart, purchase a glue gun with your mother
and come home and pick up the shards of glass and glue the porcelain
that is your soul, glue it
back together.  then cry.  then cry and weep and feel the pain.
Then vow promise yourselves you'll never leave again
never set foot outside that door again without a good reason
the world is owned by the government and the humans
they do with it as they please.  this is all i have, Lord!
In Jesus' NAme,
Amen.

"Why Souls are Sacred"
Souls Were Not Made To Be Used Nor Abused
Souls were Not Made To Be Thrown unloved
 in castaway corners where no decent moneyowner treads
Souls are not meant to be tossed across a room like a dirty sweater
Souls are not meant to be eaten or tamed or used or understood or
broken.  What is a soul, a Soul is the bit of Starlight that ignited this
ashes from ashes and brought this dust from dust souls arent measureable
Cannot be fathomed nor understood not solved like puzzles and souls age
souls age and hurt and feel pain and change and hurt and die and grow and fade
the animals and plants have souls my porcelain dolls and toys have souls
everything born of sunlight has a bit of God inside it and i call that life
What can you do with souls, then? I will tell you.
You Can Respect them.
You Can Worship Them.
You Can Tread Not on Theirs Nor Yours
You Can Love Your Soul.
You Can Love Other Souls.
Souls are created to love.
One Soul Loving Another
Is What Set The Cosmos Into Motion.
So if you see me alone and you think i'm ill,
Remember that the Soul is Sacred and can be killed.
Don't Kill The Human Spirit.  That is Evil.
Foster The Human Spirit and the Souls of all living Beings.
I like being alone because i nurture my soul and others
I give rather than take, from the world, or at least
I try to take as little as possible, and give more than i would
without pressing myself to give more than on and on!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"Grace"
The Beauty of a Woman
Is Not In Her Clothing
Is not in Her Jewels
Is Not In The Cut and Curve
Is Not in the rhinestones
sequins lace nor embroidery
The Beauty of a Woman
Is Not What She Wears
Nor Their Finness nor Plainness
Its How a Woman Wears Them
Its in the woman, not the clothing
In JEsus' NAme,
Amen.

"I Love You Too Much To Exist"
I Love You Too Much To Exist
My HEart Throbbing Bloody Pulse Beats
Only For You, My Theodore. To Say that
I'd never Love Again After You, Is Plain.
To Say That I Love You More Than Ever
Love You More Than Any Other
Want To Get Lost In Your Imagination
And Swim With You in a Sea of Bedsheets
Waiting For You To Come Home Is Sweet
I Write You Love Poems The Children Unborn
Were Forgotten In The Haste Of Unbuttoning
My Nightgown and your bedshirt.  Oh, Nights!
Oh Bliss, a fit as Twere For any mortal, such a share
of this life's portion have i recieved in Thee Theodore
I Love You More With With Ever Passing Day
I Love You To the Point Of Heartache For Lovesickness
I Brawl for thee in unthinking madness and scrawl verse
after verse upon the books of the world i dont care
if we are ever famous by the poetry they do not know
How much we are in love or they would be jealous
Don't tell them, I Love You Too Much To Exist.
In Jesus Name,
Amen!

"She Dreams of The Kingdom of Heaven"
Always, At All Times, In Day Or In Night,
She Dreams of The Kingdom Of Heaven
Where There Will Be Land With New Green Grass
Where There Will Be Sky Of Sunlight Blue And Stars
Where There Will Be Money To Buy Anything
Where One Can Go Shopping or Out To Eat
Or Meet Strangers Of Travel Or Fly or Swim
And All The People Who Broke Her Heart on Earth
Will Be The Waiting To Embrace me
And They Will Actually Be So Glad To See Me Again
After All These Years And Theodore and Lost Loves
And I Will Find Some Peace There, and I Dream All Day
And I Dream All Night, Of The Kingdom Of Heaven
 All Things I Do Are For The Sake of The Kingdom of Heaven.
All Sights I See Are Leading Me Thence Unto Its Shores
Some Days I Feel So Translucently Close To Falling
Into The Kingdom Of Heaven With Petals on Dewy Grasses
I Will Leave This Prison And Go Into The Kingdom of Heaven
When I Die, They Will Say of Me "She Only Wanted To Go
Outside."  But We Won't Hear Them, Will We, For We Will Then Be
Within The Kingdom Of Heaven.  To Live For Something
Is More Than To Believe In Heaven To Defend It And Fight For It
To Live every Moment of this Existence Waiting To Inherit Eternity
As Dreamers Will and perhaps always have, As Prisoners and Saints Do,
She Dreams, Of The Kingdom Of Heaven.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"A Quarrel with a Baby Bird"
A little Wren's Chick, mine
With A Pitterpat Heart
I disagree that poetry is an Art
It is a way of living
it is a way of giving
yourself, your soul, your energy
the mind is its its own place
and here i stay
A little Wren's Chick, Mine
With a Pitterpat Heart
He yelled at me today and said
"Noone wants to read your poetry anyway!"
"So Stop Writing It!"
What A Tender thought, i smile,
 to cease writing is as to cease living
to cease to feel one's existence tanigbly
is to cease to be alive
poetry is the ashes of a fire
that is a well lived life.
My Son's Tears stung more
Than his words did.
A little Wren's Chick, mine
With a Pitterpat Heart,
My Life, My Soul,
My Meaning, My Heart!
Theodore, Thee Art My Art!

"A Good Heart"
If you can, Give
A Little Piece
Of Your Heart
To Everyone
That Asks it of you
Because life is short
So Be Kind Always
Give to the poor be poor
be proud to be poor
like siddharta or jesus
cease mulling in the muddle
of religious dogma and
the ones who want blood for love
religion is beautiful, why are
they killing in the name of it?
So if you can, give your heart
to Jesus and do his teachings
treasures in heaven are real
i am poor because i chose to be
i married a homeless man i loved
i did not marry for money
and now, being penniless,
i hold onto my husband and rejoice
at my fair and good and irrevocable
choice!
In Jesus Name,
Amen

"Sweet Charity"

Tell them the ecstasies and heartaches of your soul, but....

how petty they seem in regard to the needs of others

i dont want to write a verse i want to feed the homeless

and water flowers and clean kitchens and feed little mice

who are waiting on their next 

meal.  The moon is beautiful

How I love the moon when i look at the moon i imagine

a vine entangling it and reaching downards with blossoms

there is no barrier you cannot press through if you push hard enough

when god intervenes there are angels

sometimes the greatest ecstasy is not freedom but sweet captivity

while houses are crumbling and people are dying i regret to inform that

i find my musings trivial in sight of the hungry cold homeless people's eyes

Forgive me if i forsake to write...my heart is dstracted by mice

and the homeless and how everyone needs so very much in life

a home, shelter, warmth, love, food, water.  if the world

is so advanced why are there still people going hungry

in the bitter cold.  I don't believe them.  i believe in jesus

i am going to give my life to doing good deeds now

the world can fear my wake im going to help the helpless

and shelter the homeless and love the unloved

and steal from the rich and give to the poor

after all, Paris is Under Seige! It's the least I can do...

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

Are you wildly human
Are you free to run, free to fly
are you free to dream up to the sky
are you unfathomably deep like cool waters
is it your soul aching in your heart
that can't let pieces of yourself go
would you rather be crazy and alone than
to deny a part of what makes you
so beautifully, unfathomably human?
are you alive?  are you there
do you believe in the sky
are you there are you dreaming
can you dream, little one? 
chase your dreams wildly and precociously
never let them go
be like a wild dolphin in deep water
fly away like wildfire
fly away so far and free fly away
dont let anybody smother the light
in jesus' name,
amen.

"Let There Be Hope For Us"
Lord, Let There Be Some Hope
For Theodore And I!  Too Dark
Is The Future Seeming No Money
No House No Garden No Children
No Pet No Job Just Danger
Of Government coming after us
On and On Until We Fall
 Into The Dirt At Last!
Lord, Shine Us A Gift
I Pray A Gift Of Hope
Some Money, Some Food,
You Might Give Us A Friend
Or Family....But we Just Need
A Little Hope In Both Of Our
Lives.  Please Lord I Pray.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"Grace"
God, I could Use
A Little of Your Grace Now
A Little Of Your Understanding
A Little Of Your Compassion
A Little Of Your Mercy
In My Life
Right Now
And Every Day.
My Life is Hard
There is Heartbreak
And Poverty
Barrenness
Despair
Loneliness
Hunger
Lack and Need
There is so much
Lack and Need in me
And in my life, that I Pray
That You, God, Will Shine Your Light
Shine Your Light Down On Me
Bless Us With Your Grace
Get Us Through Each Day
Life is too hard
There is no hope.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"Silent Noise"
Silent Noise, Silent Worlds
Go Past In Darkness yet Lord
Lord I am running back
into your arms if i ever
lose my faith in you God
I don't know i couldn't go on
The devil Playing Tricks
He was a liar and a murderer
from the start
I am running into your arms, God.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"Lord, Let Me Live For Theodore"
I Pray thee, Lord Let Me Live For Him,
My Love, My Life, My Theodore!
Take Not This Sweet Breath from our lips
for all the whispers we've shared so recently
no ticker-tape runneth we up, so let us dream
and in this possible madness that is love and poetry
let us live on to love, Oh Lord, Let us live on!
My Theodore and I must live, Oh God, Else This Life
Shall Have No Pretty Children To Nod Upon!
I Praythee, Help My Little Child Each Day To Live,
And Strengthen me thus, that i make care fore him!
Let us Live, Lord!  Theodore and I,
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

When My Well Runs Dry,
Oh Lord!  Will I still, then,
Be your Child, Lord, even
when i cannot find the words?
A life well lived is priceless
A Life of good deeds is priceless
A Life of love and kindness
is the only life i want to have
and when i rest in the earth,
i hope my energy benefits the
 universe and makes a light shine
there is so much darkness, Lord
Shining a little light is all i wanna do.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"To Theodore"
I Held You In My Warm Arms
Never Loved You More than now
I Hold you my child like my last embrace
every embrace is fit to be my last
so that if anything ever happens to me
and i am unable to take care of you,
i will have always said i love and therefore
never regret a thing!  The road goes on and on
you and i are one we Have Forged A Paradise
From Pure Wilderness We Built This Home
Every Single Thing In It and We Live In It
I Don't Believe anyone could ever take that away
But if they did, we'd start over.

I didn't know how to feel back then
at least i have a heart now im real
more real now than ive ever been
and im going to grow and grow!
I'm going to say what i think without fear
I'm going to really, really write
without being afraid of what anyone thinks
im really going to start writing!

"Choosing a Path"
I came into
a Point of My Life
When I Had To Decide
Which Road I Would Take
And Take it To The End
And Temptation Tempted me
And I Tried To Shrug off Virtue
And I Tried to calm down
And I Tried not to feel it
But I could Feel it
And I Could Know It
And I Could Name It
And I Followed My Heart
And Left The Person I Was
Behind and all that I seemed
And How I have Changed
And How I am different
And how i am weakened
and how my weakness
is what makes me strong now
and how i cannot lie
and how i look you in the eye
and everything that i hold dear
and my reason for living
and my purpose is changed
i cannot go back
i cannot go back
i can, and i am tempted to
but if i go a little further, then
i wont be able to come back to it
two paths of life
i had to follow my heart
my heart betrayed my dream
i flew like a free bird away
and i am going to name it
and i am going to find it
and i am going to do it
because ive come this far
we cant go back
im going down a path
i wouldn't have foreseen
three years ago!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

"Love and Aging"
And When I Grow Tired And Old,
Will You Be There To Hold Me
Inside The Heaven Of Your Embrace?
We are Getting Older Now My Child
Age Has Tinged Our Leaves and your beard
With Winter, And I look More Tired
Every Day.  Weather-Beaten We Are
Like Sea Driftwood Washed Up On Sand Dunes
And All I Can Think, in this moment, is
Is How Incredibly Much I Just Love You!

My soul is growing old now
Aging into how life has molded us
Sadness and Joy predominating now
sadness that time has passed us by
joy in how far weve come
Aging is Sadness.  Oh, How I Love thee!
We always said we wanted
To Grow Old Together
Well now that we are i wish that
We were both immortal
And exhaustion keeps seping
into my heart, like it will be
a relief to reach those afterlife shores
life is truly a Journey
I believe there should be a destination
Decay is so cruel that it makes me
wonder if satan isnt the prince of this world
Ashes to ashes dust to dust
Get thee hence Satan
Dancin with my Baby, La, La,
Can't hear you, I'm dancin with my baby!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Love"
When he breaks my heart it feels
like an angry fist strangling my
heart choking it angrily and mean
and how helpless i feel my heart
breaking if it were glass it would
shatter this is how he tells me he
loves me-- he orders me around
the house like a maidservant
i know to myself that it is only
his way of keeping himself alive
Because if he werent breaking my heart
then his own heart would be breaking
he's in pain and he take it out
on me, my poor heart yet i
know he is utterly lost and
helpless without me--i am his
mother, wife, sister, best friend,
i keep bread on the table
i know he is crying under the
surface, that it is really his own
heart breaking that is why he comes
home from his horrible job
heartbroken, and takes his pain
out on me Lovingly I help him
To Bear His Load of Pain
That's what it means
to love one another-- to bear
one another's pain.  We are
forever
in jesus' name,
amen.

"Dreamer"
Could one ever express one's heart fully?
No, it seems,,,the heart capsizes
Under weight of emotion...you feel
as though you could never be understood
or found by anyone, you feel alone...
loneliness aches dolerse it aches
a dull throb in the beating heart
so many have more than i and i
i have only dreams...i would rather
have dreams than money anyway
i dream on, alone, without being understood
so many of our artists have lived and died
this way i lay me down beside them
and gather me into the hope of eternity!
Dreamer I Dream On.//

"Tortured"
I was wounded in psychiatric hospitals
again and again have i been tortured
my own species threatens me so badly
so naturally i resolved gradually
to never place my faith in the human race
perhaps that is why i am such a great humanist
they will never, ever, ever ever, ever Learn.

"Being Alone Together"
When you are alone you are safe
nobody is able to hurt you then
when you are alone Solitude is freedom
We seem to be forever alone anyway-
We're born alone, we die alone, live alone
so don't panic when it hits you
with revelation that you are alone
in a crowded room, no matter
how crowded or friendly
One is always alone
Holding your soulmate you are alone
but yet you can be alone together
if you love someone quiet with whom
you can be alone together with
then, you really aren't as alone
As most people who consider
themselves "Social" are alone
and they don't want to realize it

"Being Alive"
Just the sensations of being alive are so sweet
You realize you are a bit lonely in solitude
sometimes conversations can be so reassuring and uplifting
a quiet man who washes dishes
sleeps late, and putters about the house
he speaks so little that your own thoughts
become loud you write them down
it helps the tender mercies of the Lord
When you are married there is peace
if all you want is peace find a way to release
a way to loosen up we can't all carry
the whole world upon one's shoulders
blessed are the meek and the meek are blessed
it feels so good, just being alive
i don't believe anyone would tamper with it
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Fidelity"
She does not ever wait in vain--
--your wife--
I do not ever wait in vain
Theodore comes home every night and
it is enough to survive on Lord
Our Portion is enough Lord Se-lah!
Marriage is forever and life is hard
long days i wait for thee not in vain
Never in vain lord our warm bodies
clasped tightly around arms and legs and
bodies and hair afraid to look one another
how faithful and true to you I am
never giving up or letting go
never losing hope and always there
patiently waiting for you to come home
to me your beloved wife thee my life
i never wait in Vain for Theodore

Mothers, You are loved
You are appreciated for all
of your unrealized sacrifices
to feed your family and keep watch
as age comes upon you you'll be
kept safe and watm you deserve it
mothers, you'll get your christmas money
and you probably won't buy yourselves anything
with it, you'll make christmases merry
we are wives and mothers, we make
christmases merry.  our husbands can
safely trust in us all of their lives and isnt
that a blessing.  we smile when they
take our love for granted it doesnt hurt
its actually a sign that one is doing a good job
when your husband rests his head on your bosom
after a long day doing manual labor
Mothers, you are loved and appreciated
heaven is for mothers to hold their little ones.
In Jesus Name,
Amen.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe by chance or on purpose,
God has forgotten all about me in my little puddle of home
warmed by the summer sun, i'm grateful for my life
either way, The Lord Provides and We are Grateful
So deeply grateful for this fragile strong Home
I have faith in God to pay the rent each month
I simply feel that, as an older woman, i deserve to be
and will be, provided for.  let me weave my garments
and sell my sashes to the merchant they are of the heart.

"Why Older Women Should Be Modest"

Mothers ought not masquerade as concubines

A Mother and a wife is not a concubine

Reclining in her chair, The Wife is respectable

She doesn't need to advertise her beauty

often mothers and wives are just as beautiful

as their counterparts the young coquettes

we old women are more mature and love

our families more than we want sex or fame

this ripening and maturity is no less beautiful

than the courtesan to the king.  they live lonely lives

always being judged by their looks never from within

if your husband loves and respects you, be at peace.

grow old and find peace in modesty.  we need not 

prove our physical beauty to remain the beautiful women

that we are.  We are the wives and mothers.

We are the ones men put their trust in

Wives build and sustain homes and families

Wives do dishes and plant vineyards

Wives comfort the little ones and their husbands

In A Good Wife everyone finds a Home

Courtesans are like frightened birds on shaky branches

fluttering hence and thence, but never feeling

safe or secure.  If you are a wife or mother,

Be proud.

"Women are strange"
Women change you
They rearrange you
They Will Confuse You
And Mainly Use You
They'll even lie to you
and usually despise you
and call you strange
and when youre rearranged,
the'll wander off, giving up on you
and finally they will leave you alone.
Women are very strange
don't waste your time.
amen

"Please Don't Judge Me"
I know exactly who i am
maybe you don't understand me
so don't judge me then because
i am coming to know myself
better and better all the time
the heart is a lonely hunter
and when the heart is sad its done
nothing left to do but enjoy life
passing you by like clouds
in a long endless summer blue sky.
So don't try to interpret who i am
i am certain that i know much
much better and more clearly than you
ever will or can or could hope to.
so if you see me do not judge me
i have done noone any wrong
my life ahead is long i had so much
to look forward to that never came true
so don't judge me, just pity me.
Medicate me and let me cry.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Faraway Heart

This is a Faraway Heart, You'll never find me again

i am hovering now among the dreams passed
life is past and all is lost and i hope for nothing
life is long and sweet, how i enjoy the flowers of life
treasure every precious moment washing over you
because life is fleeting and soon it will be gone forever
we don't really know what life is but its what weve been given
idly by i wait for an answer to come to me, again
exhaustion from a long life, i am retiring now, aging
all i ask of god are my memories, put me out to pasture
too weary and sad to work, let me write you a song though
as i age i find i write the sweetest love songs
songs of things that will never be again
and dreams that were once so longed for but which will
never ever ever come true...and isn't that a miracle somehow,
that we came all this way only to have the game rained out
and we all go home wet and soggy, sad and dismayed,
somehow grateful for dry shoes and seeking our cars to go home.

"Dream"
I was trying to ask a man to run with me
 through the rainforest and chase wild birds,
And i knew i was asleep...suddenly like a ghost
Theodore my husband came. He sat on a bench
behind me with his his arms folded, silent
and i knew what i had to do, i told the man
to go on without me, and laughing turned
around to my husband, and as i looked
into his eyes i woke up, and i was alone
in my bed with a stomachache from overeating
and i wished that theodore was there.
in Jesus Name,
Amen.

Futility

Subject to fate we are
Unable to alter our destinies
Life feels so hopeless by now
Hope never announced itself
I don't want my unborn children
To ever know hunger nor suffering
No matter how hard I pray and try
Heaven will not conceive a child in me
I cannot force my body to work manual labor
Age seeps in mocking my hopes
I have not given up completely
But doubt by now whether my dreams
Of having a child will ever come true.
In Jesus name,
Amen

Being alone is wonderful

Everyone
...every single person... Needs
To know that
Being alone
And the delicious sweetness of being
Alone, is not wrong as Facebook umbrella s them all. I pity them that they belong
Honestly I'm glad for my freedom
I have my mother's free spirit
And I love to be alone. Alone is
Better than okay.
Alone is wonderful

Rose

Rose weeps in cold rain
Night wind beating poor blossom
Live on through this night!

We Never die if we believe in Jesus

We nevernever die if we believe in Jesus Christ
We awaken to life eternal
Don't be fooled by Satan at fear of dying
The grave is not where our souls go
We ascend to heaven
Don't be fooled by darkness
And walking, walk in the
Light. I am not afraid
It is a chance I'm happy
To take.
Amen.

Paths through sin

God leads us on long paths through sin,
We must never forsake nor be tempted in,
But fix our eyes on blessed cavalry cross
At the end of life, for eternity in heaven!

A poem for Angie

Life is incredibly brief and precious
Treasure it while life is with you
We are spirits in a material world.
We all have to die. The Bible says that
Death is the shepherd of all mankind.
Don't fear it. Enjoy life and dream of heaven.
Thy sweet soul will surely endure, for
Pure goodness sake...for all eternity.
Thee art the light of the world, says Jesus.
He went to prepare a place for you
In the kingdom of heaven. You too shall carry his cross...for you
Are a saint. Set thy heart at peace, love thy family. Be at peace daughter of God.
Hold the pierced hands of Jesus until the last breath...and Thee shalt never know death!
In Jesus name.
Amen lord.

Jesus isn't that cruel.

Jesus how can you let my friend die?
No I don't. No, I don't understand your 
Ways. I don't understand at all.
Jesus if you died on the cross fur us,
Then why are you taking my friend.
You tell me
My ways are not your ways.
Yet I do not accept that answer.
Jesus you are a great healer...
Why won't you heal my friend Angie?
I love her, lord. Please JesusJesus just heal her
Jesus name,
Amen

Jesus smiled at me today

Jesus smiled at me today
And I knew 
Inside my
Heart
That 
Angie
Isn't going to die!
I know he works miracles and
He is tickling me in my heart that
Angie is going to be just
Fine! She will overcome cancer
The doctors will have wonderful news
Soon. Because I know that
Jesus
Isn't
That
Cruel!
Jesus smiled at me today

Learn to be Little

The world is big and free
Knowing each of us all
Are little and insignificant
Yet lord, we are all happy
The behemoths and dictators,
The singers and stars, don't
Understand nor appreciate 
The peace and joy
In being little 
If you can, try to find
A place you can gather
With similar people
That haven't yet met
And a loving home with
A loving spouse, and
A loving family, and
Goals, projects and dreams
But remember you must not make
Your dreams more important
Than your life and your
Loved ones. Love
Love is all that matters
You can't force effort
Fame is meaningless
Learn to be little, and
Then you will not be alone
On this earth!
Amen.

Our National Faith, or, salvation

America clings to Jesus
All the more fervently, in these
Alarming times with rumors of wars
Flying in silent hearts too afraid
To escape our lips
Much less our thoughts
Like Frightened birds
Our national faith in Jesus
Christ in general as a whole
Will preserve our troubled nation
When all else fails yet we
Trust in Christ
And in this faith is solidarity
And it is yet enough lord
To see our nation through
Like a star guiding a sailing ship,
Each individual heart prays
To Jesus with all our hearts
We may not understand worldviews
And yet Jesus is enough
Jesus is not one to disappoint!
Hallelujah! It may well be
A miracle of God, our
National faith.
In Jesus name,
Amen!

doubt and pain

In my moments
Of doubt and pain
I cling to my faith
Jesus will not forsake me
Even if even I myself
Am too dim and afraidafraid
Smothered in doubt and pain,
Too consumed by darkness
ToTo venture my heart to dream! 
To dream, of stars and flowers,
Roots and shoots and tubers,
Leaves, and stems and buds of Blossoms
That tenderly press themselves firmly
Pushing up up through darkness
Seeking the light of God and goodness!
In moments of doubt and pain,
Yet Jesus waters this flower with hope
Looking up at the stars in the morning sky
One cannot help but to dream!
Poetry cometh thus, with hope and
Dreaming.
In Jesus name,
Amen!

Finding dreams

When I am feeling low and down
And Darkness gathers all around
Unable to admit I was losing hope
And dreams all lost and gained in scope,
From fitful nightmares I suddenly rise
And leapt to gaze at my beloved sun rise!
The stars were vast and bright with hope
Dawn slarlit skies my forgotten dreams awoke
So when at times you forget just who you are,
Just run outside and gaze into the stars!
The stars are dreams themselves, and prove
Victory for mercy, peace and love!
In Jesus name
Amen.