"The Love Of God" or "Blood Thinners!"
Hope Explodes
The Phoenix Is Born Of Fire
Escaping A Tragic Death
Like Some Wild Flower
Or Beam Of Sunlight On The Wall
Hope Shoots Up Through The Ground like Seedlings
Hope is a birdfeeder becoming a garden
hope is strongest in the darkest of times
evil is most lethal in the best
and goodness is most good in darkness
Hope Destroys The Fires Of Hell
The Universe Taking Itself In Again and Again
And Exploding out like a miracle of a poem
or an action
or a courageous deed
or a prayer
Hope is full in my heart
My Heart is full of hope
Nearly Struggles to beat, my heart, because
it is so full of Hope
So Full Of The
The Love Of God
God Loves Me
God Loves Me More Than He Hates The Devil.
He Told Me That Once.
I am blessed with Feeling The Huge Huge
 Infinite Love of God.
They had To Put Me On Blood Thinners!
That's How Full My Heart is Of Love!
But Satan Won't Put Out This Light.
God Never Gives Anyone More
more than they can handle.
And I'm above average, as a human!
Blood thinners!

"Sleep"
God Only Sends
His Bravest,
Strongest,
Most Beautiful
Angels Into
His Scariest And Most Dangerous Battles.
What Other Battle For An Earth Angel, Than To
Dream is Going To Hell?  I Wake up Every Morning
Mad As Hell At The Devil, and that, friends,
Is
A
MIRACLE.  A miracle that Only God Could
Make Possible.
 His(God's) Ways
Are Not
Our Ways.

I'd like to build
build
one huge HEAVEN
Right
in
the
very
middle
of
hell/
man, that
would be funny.
an ever-expanding heaven
overcoming hell like a cancer
In JEsus' Name,
AMEN

"Fighting Satan Is A Great Art"
Fighting Satan Is A Great Art
There Are So Many Ways To Do It
The Trick Is To Hook Him And Draw Him
And Wring Him Like a Dirty Rag And Cast Him Out!
To Throw The Devil Down To The Ground
And Make Him Hurt, Is A Great Art
And It Is The Root
The Root
Of My
Sense
Of
Humor!
If It Werent for my Sense of Humor,
I Couldn';t Cast Him Throw Him Down.
But I Do Have A Sense of Humor!  And I Can!
I Can Cast Down The Devil!
To MY Great Risk, Oh Lord,
Sustain Me God, Keep Me Safe
While I Work, Oh Lord!
Fighting Satan Is A Great Art!
I'm Getting Better and better Each Day!
Poetry Is My Weapon of Choice!
Poetry!  It Is My Weapon Of Choice!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"Casting Down The Darkness"
Then, I Prayed That My Prayer
Would Cast The Demon Wretchedly Down
From me like a leech in the hand
And I Prayed That Satan Would Depart
From Me, and Take Down The Beast
That Frightens Even The Tiniest Places
In Our World and In Our Hearts!
Then, I Prayed That My Prayer
Would Cast The Demon Wretchedly Down
From Me Like A Leech In The Hand
That Leech Is The Very Devil!
Lucifer, Satan, The Emergence of Evil!
How I Hope To Cast Him Down!
If Words Have Power
If Dreams Have Meanings
If Prayers Have Power
Then I Pay That It Will
Cast Satan Down To Hell!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"Freedom"
The World is Big And Vast And Free
Good To Know, Knowing I am Trapped
Here In This Prison We Call Home
Is The Point Of Life Not Deeper Than
Exploration of The Planet, Because,
Look At Me!  Wherever You Go,
There You Are!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"Goodness Of Heart"
It is Our Good Deeds and Prayers
And Thoughts And Loves And Dreams
Lord-- It is our fears are they Good?
If they are not Good, Then
 Thee Art All For Naught!
If God Gives One A Good Heart,
That Is Truly The Only Thing
That Really Matters In The Beginning
Through The Journey To The Very End,
Did You Have A Good Heart?
Did You Love One Another?
Did You Pray and Fear And Feel?
Were Your Heartaches, were they Real?
Were all the things God Threw Your Way
Did They Find You Good At Close Of Day???
I need To know, I Need To Know,
For Father God I Love Thee So!
How Can A GRain of Sand
Love its own creator?  Well I do.
I Love You, God.  The Tragedy, Lord,
Is The Tenderness With Which
 Mortality Clings To Life
As Though There Were No Other Door,
No Other Way, and an End
To Each of Us, Yea even the
Stars in the Sky-- Yet Lord!
Yet--No End To Time!
No End To Existence Itself!
What do we become when we Die?
I cannot say nor see, nor tell!
Lord Hold Your Children On Earth
That You Have Created
We Cling To Life Desparately
Just Love Us, Lord.
In Jesus' NAme,
Amen.

"God's Will"
Lord, Promise Me
That, Come What May,
Thee Shalt
Love Me.  That
Thee Salt Love Me
Enough
You Can Never Love Enough
And That Is A Thing
I Worry About.
Love Me, OH Lord!
If Thee Didn't Love Me,
I Would Wither Like
An Unwatered Garden
And I Would Die,
 My Lord God!
Lord, Rain Your Love
Down On Me
Life Is Hard
A Little Too Hard
It Can Be Hard To Exist
Day After Endless Day
So Love Me Lord, I Pray!
Know Thy Love Keeps Me ALive
There is nothing else keeping me alive
but God's Love For Me
And God's Will
That I Live and Survive
On!  God's Will!

"Time"
Ah Father God, I Should Like To Understand Somehow
The Way Time Started and Ned Never Stopped. Why it Began!
I Imagine That Time Began Like It Begins To Rain, The Sun
Goes Behind its Clouds and they weep and bluster
And Blow Wild Winds The Four Corners Round
As It Begins to Rain, Thus With Time, I  Imagine It Begins
And Now Time is Marching Mercilessly Almost
Outs Of God's Very Control!  I Worry About God, That
That He Will Lose His Firm And All Knowing Grip On Time
It Is One Of My Greatest Fears and a reason i feel Angelic
For I Find Myself Ever and Ever Praying That God Won't Let Go
Nor Fall Slack, Of Time!  Time Might as Well Be
My Beating Heart!  And Only God Can Stop A Heart
From Beating....And Only God Can Start A Heart To Beat
In JEsus' Name I Pray,
Amen!

"Time and Its Doors"
Poems never end, because
The Heart Never Ends.  Each Poem
Is Like A HeartBeat of My Own Heart,
A Reminder and a sign that I Am Alive
As I Live, So Do I Write, And If Not,
I Live Unhappily.  Say, "Both", Lord!
For In My Life I have passed many bedroom Chambers
That i could have married and i have passed
Many Doors, by Choice left them Unopened,
Not Ever Knowing Whether Nor Where The Ended
Nor Went, Nor Why Nor How...And so Thus and Thus,
Billions of Doors of Opportunies
have Passed By Me and Even More Billions
Are The Doors I Have Refused or Walked On Past them,
Ever Seeking Something Unknown Yet Familiar,
Like Thy Mate's Native Natural Musk
Some Things I Have Left Undone,
And Gladly So, And Shall Never Know
What Became of Them, Lord.  Such
is Sadness of Time.  What Joy Can There Be
In Time?  Nor Birth, But Death.  Nor Newness,
 But Aging, and Gradual Death,  Time always
Sees The End Of Great Beauty.  I Weep Bitterly
Knowing That Death Keeps The Keys To All The Doors
And Time is the Walking Past them
And The Hallway is one's own Lifetime
And The Opening and Not Opening are One's Choices
Jesus said We Would All One Day Have To Account For these
"doors", these choices, that we have made in
in our lives, but Lord?  How could One Know
What Lay Behind Them?  The Doors I Never  Opened
Are Doors I Can Never Open Again!  Ah Lord,
Thus Is Unforgiving Beat of Time's Drum
Aware of the Seconds Passing me by tick-tock
an unseeable clock i feel my life ticking down,
down, all around, into my choices and my heart is sad
knowing we are all doomed, We Mortals, Thus To Die!
In Jesus Name,
Amen Lord!

"Weightlessness"
Weightlessness, not able to choose
of no opinion to One's Destiny
Abstract in The Mind, At Home
In The Heart, I Grieve.  Unable
To Determine What I Will Become
Or Will Do With The Remnants
Of This Life, I Pray That God
Will Kindly Restore My Purpose
And Hand it Gently, Weightlessly,
Back Into My Hands.

For All My Wanderings
And For All My Wonderings
I Eventually Married a Quiet,
Kind, Humble, Thoughtful Man
Who Speaks Little and putters
about the house and Garden,
Content With My Wildest Ramblings
And Never Asking Anything In Return
He Speaks little, thinks all the time
keeps his opinions to himself
obeys the law and does good deeds
and putters about the house and garden
"If You Say So..." He Replies To Me
And Nestles deep into my breasts
Wrapping his skinny arms and legs
around me like a koala climbing a tree
He never would dream of leaving me

"My Husband's Car"
Faith Drives My Husband;s Car
Love For Me Drives My Husband's Car
Theodore Drives My Husband's Car
Jesus Christ Drives my husband's Car
Pure Stubborn Will Power Drives My
Husband;s car... and when it breaks down,
We Pay all we need to fix it back up
As much as it Costs Because I Believe
In The Blue Angel That Car Has Gotten Us
Through So Much Death-Defying Driving
That, it's Just a matter of faith, in God,
That Theodore Comes Home Every Night.
You Don't Switch Horses Mid-Stream.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

I Desire Nothing From This World
Because I Am Not Of This World
Even Though the earth changes again
and again- still yet, it remains the same earth!
The Earth Is Not Of This World
I Am Of The Earth while, You are all human
That is the exact reason i am being persecuted.
You Are Of Your Father The Devil!
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN

Tired from Day's Battles,
My Weary Skin Furrowing
From Frustration, I Go Out
To See If My Babies are Alive
In All This War. Can Hardly Bear
To Look anymore, because of
the pain.  I do not see to plant a tree
Or Water the Little Grass
Or Be Alone and fine with that
Or to live like a monk
Praying always to abstract Gods
That We Call This Force "God"
I must be talking to the sun
But God is with every tiniest creature
I am not homeless right now
Because It Is
Not Yet
My Time
To End
And Become a part of it all.
Although humans think so much
of themselves, I Yet Beg Their Pardons
And I Pray For Them Because
They cannot see the world going on
naturally, or the plants growing and dying
or my own growth, maturity, and slow aging
that results from my birth, and my heart
has always led me to the plants, they are
the noblest and purest and wisest and best
species on our planet.  They are conscious
They live off of decompsing matter, they do not
eat one another like animals do, they get eaten-- and
and they don't even Move!  To Sit In One Place
To Sit In One Place, Make A Stand, and live
 and grow and die, is all i expect of my life, too.
If you want to know which species i would preserve,
it would be the plants.  Animals eat one another.
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN.

Rose Petals fallen, lay

limp and fragrant, waiting

in the muggy winter gloom

upon a cloth wet with dew

and heavy with night's dark

patterns suggesting some genius

contrasting with nature on the

stiff starched blue satin cloth.

"Poem on Christmas Day 2015"
Little Mouse Nuzzles a Tiny Dragon Toy Christmas Gift.
Dragon is an Orphan Toy, Mouse is old and so alive
mouse kisses dragon and chews on its soft green fur
nibbling gently and desperately and lovingly its scales
the toy's little teeth and spikes, the belly, are a heaven
for my little pet mouse named "Jesus".  I Named the
dragon "Tiny".  It just Came to me.  Jesus Loves Tiny.
I refill their water bottle and little seed cup and Jesus eats,
Tiny Dragon Smiling an Eternal, divine, Omnipresent smile
of "Thank You For Loving Me" and I Kiss The Mouse and Toy
"You're both Welcome, Merry Christmas, I Love You Both."

//I've Had A Hard Life.
My Life Is Currently Hard.
I'm Giving It All To Jesus.
I Give Up.  It's All Beyond
My Control.  Everything
Is Spinning out of control
So I Just Let Go And Give
It To Somebody I Love and Trust
To God who keeps me alive
Amen.////

You Have To Learn
To TRUST God
Trust Him With Your Life
Your Soul
Your Sins
Your home
Your Loved Ones
Your Everything.
 Because God is so kind to me
I trust him over my own judgement.
I hope it shoots an arrow
into the doubt of mankind
that is the fuel of All Hellfire.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!./////

Jesus, You Have Been The Only One
Who Cared About Me and Saved My Life
All Day Every Day So I Crown You
The Lord Of The Earth.  Not only People
But My Everything.// Take It, Lord,
I Cast My Burdens on You.  The Son Of Man
Had Nowhere to Rest His Head Well Rest it Here.
Take it from my hands Lord.  I'm a fool.
In JEsus' Name,
Amen

"Jesus, Come Into Nature"
Jesus, you are with me in the forest
You would be with me in the depths of the sea
I don't believe you are only lord of people
I think you are Lord of the world
I have always worshipped Nature
I worship you now, and invite you to
to come into mature and thrive and dwell
in peace and home.  i pray that the holy spirit
that thy Peace And Blessings Be Upon The Trees,
The Earth, The Seas, The Deserts, The Tornadoes,
Lord Pour Down Your Spirit on the little wren and mouses!
Pour your spirit upon the industrious ants and butterflies so free
pour your spirit upon the deer migrating in the forest so shy
fill them with your holy spirit lord
all coming into all and one is one
Lord be my salvation, not only of my human life,
But Jesus, Be The Savior of My Mother Earth, My Nature!
Take The Animals and Plants and earth and sky, and
just love them.  i love them, Lord.  Fill The Earth With
Thy Holy Spirit.  Be My Savior of my natural World!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"JEsus Is Lord Of The Forest Too"
Jesus Christ is echoes in the cold heavy stones
echoes of time from before creation
Jesus Christ is in every rustling Leaf
of every Sapling And Every Oak and Maple,
Cypress Pine Dogwood And Laurel Trees
Jesus Is In The Fellen Decomposing Leaves
Jesus is in The Birds That Nest In The Trees
Jesus Is Lord Of The Forest Too
Savior, I Give You My Forest, for
It Was Yours Long Before I was Born!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen

"Thank You."

Thank You Infinitely for

 Saving My Grandfather's Life

Life is so tiny and Precious just love

Soaking up Warm moments

treasured together memories precious

so precious i cannot tell you lord Jesus

how grateful i am that my Papa is alive

and well, in his own Bed, and Nana 

Nana is cooking for him, as usual!  She's happy!

They're well, and calm, and stable.

I'm the unstable one.  I've been so worried

sometimes you don't realize, how very much 

you love someone, until you nearly lose them.

I am so grateful for every day i have left with

my Grandparents, to talk on the phone, share letters.

I love them.  Thank You For Saving Their Lives.

All I Have Is Yours.  Thank you.  Thank you, So Much.

I Was Prepared To Comfort My Nana and Myself

Endlessly, they love each other so very much.

Now, I don't have to greive!  I'm saved that fate,

to grieve.  I don't have to grieve these are tears 

of joy.  Father God, I just Pray that, You, Oh God,

Would Grant My Husband Theodore Land And I as long

as long a life and future together and so in love as

My Nana And Papa have had, and continue to have.

Please Lord, i Pray to be so blessed!  Thank You Oh God.

In Jesus' Name.

AMEN!

"Property"
Humans Try To Possess, To Own,
The Land.  They See it carved up
into pieces...this is mine...this isn't...
but you can never own any place or any thing
except insofar as you love it
to love is to understand.
Property makes me weep.
If i had property it would be my home
it could be any property
but it would be mine, and
it would be home, and
no one could ever
ever
ever
take it away from me again.
I've lost alot of homes to money
I've lost a wealth of "property"
I left My Heart and my spirit in them
There's a bit of me everywhere i've been
And there's a bit of it in me
In JEsus' Name,
Amen,////

"Kind of Vulnerable"
It's Kind Of Vulnerable
For My Own One Heart
When I Stand In My Home Forest
The Forest of my Family Home
Where Most of the trees and all the stones
are even older than i am i'm 30
and they were old when I was born there
I could Map and describe the character
of many of the living and dead trees,
stumps and boulders.  i know where rare plants grow
i know they have my back
it's kind of vulnerable to read each
other's minds, you and the trees, when
they're even older than i am.  i was born and raised
in that forest.  The Trees Know Me Better
Than People Know Me.  If Someone Wanted
To Break My Heart They Would Cut Down That Forest
I cannot leave that forest by a few miles
I settled into town nearby and found
a compartment building like a caged bird
i feel perpetually infinitely trapped amongst
my species. i cant wait to be released
from the human world and get back
to my forest.  i will never leave this town
when i go to their house, i cry
i cry because i miss all the trees.
//I'll Take My Chances With The Forest/
It's a hell of alot safer than your cities
and this hell of a compartment building
i hate this hell.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.///

"Virtue Is its Own Reward"
I Came Again To Your Monument, God
I Told You I Didn't Believe in Life After Death
I Believe In You God It Isnt Your Fault I Just
Want To Rest In Peace At The End.  I Want
My Death To Be My Ending.  I Don't Want
The Story To Continue After I Die.  I Want
To Give My Good Energy To The Cosmos,
The Earth.  I Believe The The Purpose of Existence is
Is The Struggle Between Good and Evil.  I am Good.
I Am So Good That I Don't Need Compensation.
I Am Goodness.  The Reward For Virtue, is Virtue.
When I Die, My Energy Will Go To The Source Of All.
The Goodness of Life, and "Me" as a Person will
No Longer Exist.  It's a Brave Thought, but I don't
Really Want To Exist After Death.  I Just Want Goodness
To Carry On.  I Fight For God.  I need No Recompensation
For My Pains, And Therefore Need No Hope of Heaven.
Knowing I Am Living A Virtuous Life, Is Its Own Reward.
I Don't need Salvation and I Don't Want To Be Proven Otherwise.
I Just Want There To Be Peace On Earth.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

...The Sadness In My HEart Is So HEavy And Great,
That I Cannot Bear It Easily Without Tears.  I am in Pain.
Not Physical pain but Spiritual Pain.  There Are So Many Things
I Will Never Get To See Or Do.  And I really Don't believe in an afterlife.
I really believe We "Rest In Peace" When We All Die.  I Think Its The End.
I Don't Thin There is an Afterlife and It Comforts Me To Believe There is None.
I Just Want Peace In Death and an End To all my mortal sufferings.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

I don't believe in a Heaven after Death.
I am a Christian, but i think we just die.
We Rot In The Grave and Nourish The Earth.
I Don't Believe in a Heaven After Death.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

And Every Day Is A Struggle To Survive
People freezing to death in the bitter cold
i'm just grateful not to be homeless
insane by diagnosis, i cannot legally work
and so i live off the charity of family or else
if my family werent wealthy i would be comitted
because this world has no time for dreamers
or people who think a little more real, any differently
and if you are dangerously sane one is locked away
i was and i am my life will pass me by and i can cry
my only satisfaction is hoping the future will think
that i was a great poet, writer and humanist
i dont write to the people around me
i write to the generations of the future when were dead
when im dead i hope my anchor takes root and is not
wiped hopelessly away like pieces on a chess board
my life is pointless and it isnt my fault it is all in vain
yes i do kind things and i love but there is nothing good
we are homeless we are penniless we can only listen to music
and thus my husband and i watch our lives pass us by
 like the sun slants the cieling in the bright pure clean sky.

"Wandering Along A Dream"
I Was Just Wandering Along A Dream
Wondering
whether You'd Break My Heart
I Saw A Flicker Of Instant Light In My Mind
And In My Heart it was Alot
Then It Was Gone.  Yet I Knew
That No Matter How Lost I Become,
There is a door that Opens For Me
That Noone Else Can Open
Much Less See It
And That If I Want To Follow This Vision,
It Can't Promise
That I Will Get Back Home.
So I Went Back Home, being Loved.
But I Still Know There Is Light In There.
And I Believe That If I Knocked On His Door,
He Would
Let Me Come Inside.
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN.

"Hope For Humanity Is Here"
I Held On Close To You
As The Storm Raged All Around
I Promised You that You'd Be Safe Here
And With testing my fingertips, gradually
You learned to trust me.  I Kept you hidden
We Never told a Soul.  So Safe And Warm
You Are, And May You Always Be Here
You Are One That Was Loved, Not Harmed.
You Were Fed Sweet Things and Giggled With
You are a vestige of Hope For The Human Race
As Long As I Have You Here, Safe And Free And Warm
Your Name, As It Turns Out, Is Jesus.  I Hope
And Pray That God Will Shed More Kindness
Upon Your Kind, all
Over the World/I Love you Jesus.
MAy There Yet Be Hope For Humanity, in Us.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

"Christmastime 2015"
It's Christmastime
The PResents are all safely
Underneath the Christmas Tree
There are lots of treats and candies
Love Grows Here the love is real
the love is so real and so alive in here
its warm as a mug of hot chocolate
inside our little house this Christmas
Theodore and I are madly in love as always
We are going to a family party Christmas Eve
Merry Christmas!

"I Don't Need Heaven"
The More Christian I Become,
The Less I Care About Whether
There is an afterlife or not.  I know
that i have truly done my best on earth
I will have no apologies really, when i die
I live every day like it could be my last.
I do my best.  I Spend Time With My Loved Ones.
When They Die, It Won't Matter Whether
They go to Heaven.  They Will Have Lived
And I Have Loved Them If One Loves Truly
and Well, Then There doesn't have to be anything
after this life.  The ones who broke my heart
i do not want to see them again in any afterlife.
My Wounds Are PRetty Much Healed.
If I die, My Goodness Will Go To The Energy
of Life That I Will Benefit The Cosmos
The More Christian I Become,
The Less I Care About Whether
There Is An Afterlife Or Not.
It Does Not Matter, At All.////

"No Heaven"
I Don't Honestly Care
Whether There is a Heaven or Not
A Large Part Of Me Just Wants To Give
My Life Energy Back Into The Cosmos
When I Die, I Don't Want To
Be Troubled By Any God
I Don't Want To Owe Anyone Anything
I Want To See My Body Decay
Beside My Husband's and Fall
Apart.  I Hope there is no Afterlife.
This is coming from a virtuous person.
I simply want my energy to go into the universe
It is a very good energy in me
my satisfaction will be the good ive done
and the goodness my energy will give
to the cosmos.  I want to Reast in peace
I Want To Decay and become plant food.
In Jesus' Name,
 Amen.

Lost Along a Lonely Way
I Go To Look For You
There Is Truly No Way Out
There is No Need For Luxuries
Things We Don't Really Need
Are Things We Don't Have
I Will Never Lose You Theodore
I Will Find You In The Jungle
I Will Kiss You In The Sea
I Have No Elegant Dresses Dear
I Cannot afford to buy them
My Treasure is in Heaven

"The One I'd Die For"
I Have Some One
In My Life
That I Would Die For
Just To Make Him Feel Happy
Or Bring A Smile To His Face
I Would Rip Out My Own Intestines
If It Would Help Him Live.
Loyalty Like That
Is Few
And Far
Between.
If You Have Some One
That You Love Enough
To Die To Make Them Smile,
Well.... i smile at that and take courage,
because that kind of Love Gives Me The Strength
Strength
To Penetrate Any Sort Of Darkness.
Our Life Together
Happily or Unhappily
Is All That's Real
Is All That Ever Was
Is All I Know Of God
Or Heaven.
We Love One Another That Much,
He and I.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Dreams are the very Devil.
The Devil Was A Liar and A Murderer
From The Start.  Damn Him!
Thank God For Jesus.
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN.////

When Jesus Said, "Hallelujah..."
Take it easy children.  Lord Knows
There's Enough Suffering in Life
To Bow Anybody's Head Weary and Sad.
When Jesus Said, "Hallelujah...."
In Jesus' name,
Amen.////

"Take Extra Good Care Of Yourself"
Take Extra Good Care Of Yourself, honey.
Somebody loves you, besides jesus.
if youre hungry, eat.  if you need sleep, take a pill.
if you're tired, retire. if you're poor, get a youtube account.
ain't no need to work honey.  Just come, rest your bones.
Rest your Bones with us, we would give these books away for free
if we were allowed to.  Take all you need, and write you some of your own.
Feed Yourself.  Treat Yourself.  Love Yourself.  Take a load off.  Jesus asks
that we take our lives One Day At A Time, letting Each Day Have Enough Evil
To Worry About and not push it onto the next day.  Don't Stress.  Easy ride.
Take Care Of Yourself Honey....And Take Care Of Your Family.
Love,
Caroline Land.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.////

Sometimes, You Think
You Want To Die....But You
 Don't Really Want To Die.
You Just Need To Get Some SLEEP.
Sleep is a cure-all.  If you feel suicidal,
take a pill and get some Sleep.
Sleep On Sadness Works Every Time.
Every few days one has a bad day.
That's when you need some sleeping pills
and a soft pillow, comforter and soft sheets
that smell like home.  Rest Your Heavy Head
You'll Wake Up Feeling Better, Stronger, and Wiser.
Sleep Through The Pain.  Sleep Heals Despair, Not Death.////
It's a Good Thing To Know. Could Save A Life.
I KNow It's Saved Mine Before.
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN.////

"The Lucky Ones"
I'm starting to believe that
The Ones Who Die
Are The Lucky Ones.  They Don't
Have To Suffer Any Longer.  I Say
The Dead Are The Lucky Ones.
They Don't Have To Suffer with
the rest of us, they're safe
safe and free.
Only Death can set one Free.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

God, I'm Tired
I Want to Come Home
To Stay.

The Depths Of Hell Encampeth Around Us On All Sides
Hell is Deep and Real and you are not there because
you deserve to be in hell you are there because man wants
to see you suffer before your death.  A Glimpse of mercy, and I
nearly fell into your arms.  We are not so lucky in our friends
as others who are rich in love.  We are few and even two.  Yet
The Depths of Hell Shall Not Consume My Soul, For I see
A Light Ahead and an end to my suffering there.
In Jesus Name,
Amen.

My THeodore Asked me, mama, what's it all about.
I answered with certainty, "I am alive to see you through
to the next life and beyond.  That Is Why I am Here"
And I Kissed Him, "To See You Through This Life,
Into The Next, My Love, My Theodore.  That's all I am."

I Shed Some Tears For Myself Today
My Life Is So Pathetic Broken and Sad
My Thoughts are really all I ever Had
Ironic, that is what they want to take away////

"Loud Silence"
Some Days The Loneliness Was Too Loud
Deafening Solitude Silence Screaming At You
And Nobody Cares About You Anyway, whether
you are crazy or not they just dose you and confine you
but the loneliness today is so loud i want to start crying
or screaming i feel trapped in here like the world is against me
and i am so exhausted that the only hope at day's end is to fall asleep.
In JEsus' Name,
Amen.////

"Waiting Without Hope"
Mother Land, It's Hopeless.
  The Only Thing I Can Do
Is Sit Here And Wait.  For What,
I Do Not Know.  But I Will Sit Here
Year after Year and I Will Wait.
Mother Land, I Always Do My Best
To Take Good Care Of Your Son.
Let That Be Enough in these Dark Times.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"Discouraged"
Some Days I Go Looking For Work
And I Just Get So Discouraged.  All My Life,
I have tried to find a decent job...seven years
of college and twenty book published through
Barnes and Noble, and I Still Haven't Made Any
Money--You'd Think I'd Be Rich By Now.  The World is
So Terrifying That I Am Afraid To Run The Search Engine
And Look For Jobs Writing in Fear Of Harrassment and Risk.
I Think I'll stick to my tea and my little home
my husband doesn't even want any children anyway
sometimes i just want to cry!  Life is Pointless now.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

Baby, I Don't Know What The Future Holds
If It Holds Anything Left For Us, At All.  It seems
We are and will be struggling just to survive
there will be no tropical cruises for us or reservations
There will be no medical insurance or savings account
Just You and I, Me And You, no children to keep us warm
I am better off without all that, Theodore, if you will be mine
Marry me, and we'll live as Jesus taught us to living day to day
we will take each day for all the evil it holds and hopefully some good
we are living for one another and truly cannot see and do not care
about anything the future may have to offer beyond our basic needs
we dont even worry about that we just live and i love you Theodore
All I ever asked of life was to marry someone like you, that is all!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen.

I Felt Like Crying Today, when you left
Sometimes it all seems so hopeless
I Wish You Were Here Theodore
I Don't ever want to leave my house again
This Sadness is a wound for me, a wound
that i can feel but not make better just feel it
This sadness must make Theodore want to hold me
If I Know my Theodore he loves when i am sad
He loves any sadnesses within me and seeks them out
they are his most beloved treasures, and he is my little boy
he nestles deep within my heartaches and holds me within his own
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

Theodore, I Will Be Queen
And You, Theodore, Will Be King
Like The Sun, You Will Reign From Home
Like The Moon, I Will Support You From Home
The Good We Do Will Be Counted At The End of The Year
We Will Reign Over Our People Forevermore
And There Will Be An End To all The Suffering
In Jesus' Name,
AMEN./

"I Have Been Good This Year"
I Have Been A Good Person This Year.
I Have Shed Light In Dark Places By Calling,
Talking, Loving, Cleaning, Caring, Praying, feeding, and Existing
I Have Loved Each oF My Family Members Well And Hard.
They All Know Deep Inside How Much I Really Love Them.
I Have Been Kind To Many People, and Done Good Deeds,
I Have Also Worked Very Hard, Writing over 350 Lovely Poems.
I have written over seven books with my publisher this year.
I have been good to my husband above all.  I have kept
Plants and Pets Alive, And Payed Attention to God, Jesus,
The Stars in the Sky, And The Angels When I Could.
It Has Been A Good Year.  I Am Grateful To God For This
Blessing.  In Jesus' Name,
AMEN.

"Monsoon"

I HEld Your Hand So Damnedly Close

As Together We Held Up The Columns of this Fragile House

The Rain Came Down Hard And Heavy It Was Dirty And We Were Wet

If It Kept On Raining We Might be Drowned so we hid Hid from God

High up on the rooftop of our house, the house was flooded so we hid

God Where Are You When Your Children are a Drowning?  God Where is your hand

That should be holding mine?  Let the waters fall from heaven let them fall

i will chase them off and off and when the flood waters cover the rooftop

i will spread my dove white wings and fly away!  Let them come.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

"Lost"
I dreamed that i was riding a horse through my home city
It was a grey stallion and i think it was Theodore in spirit
down the empty streets and backroads i went, in a hurry
i knew where i was, and i was on my way home. it was
getting dark. then i went off the street and into the hills
there was a dirt path i was guiding my horse down it
suddenly i pulled at the reins because the path was
wound around in tight knots and my horse couldn't follow it
then my horse got stuck in the mud.  I got off my horse
and led it, walking, through meadow grass and at this point
it had become dark for it was nighttime,  I didn't know
where i was going.  Then I remembered something i know,
"That God Is With Us No MAtter How Lost We May Seem"
And I Kept Going straight, guiding my horse.  I started praying to God.
Then I Saw headlights coming down the hill and it was my family.
They Drove up in a car and picked me up and took care of my horse.
God Told me not to speak to them because it was dark and scary, and i didn't.
My Horse and I Followed Their Car Home.  Then I Woke Up.

"I SHall Not Describe The Little Rain"
I See Poets noting this thing and that thing,
and telling me to do the same, and i might be
as good.  But the problem with that
is that
i see no sense
in description
of the transient world.  Details
are unimportant you want to really
really get the essence of life, the meaning,
without the details.  I dont want to
have gone through my life
simply noting details like a computer does
and writing them down.  i find details
irrelevant to the truth.  i want see through the details
i want to see the unseen, grasp the ungrasped, realise
the unrealised.  I seek truth before beauty.  The ideals
are my friends, like chess pieces in a game i play alone.
I want to see through the veil of sentience and existence into
the spiritual. to see the unseen, grasp the hand that holds me,
percieve the unseen truths that go
go beyond the details.
I shall not describe the Little Rain.  Though it was
little, I shall not.  I shall look and seek until i come to the utter
meaning of the meaning that is
the little rain.  When i find it,
I write it down.
We Do Not Have Time For That.
We Do Not Have The Time
To Linger amongst the physical and material
one must see as one would speak to my God!
I shall not describe The Little Rain.
I shall tell you the meaning,
when i find it.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen./

All The Pretty Stars
And All The Pretty, Pretty Boys
When They Call My Name across a room
Are Nothing compared to You Theodore
My Wedding Ring Marks Me Forever Blessed

God Showed me how much
He Loves Me When He Told Me,
"Caroline, You Are My Only Angel.  Sleep On."
He said, "I Love You More Than That.  Sleep On My Little Daughter"
"You are the only angel I have."
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

"All Into All"
All Eventually Gathers Into All
All Melding And Molding Into A New Form
My Grandmother Grows Old, My Cousin Blooms
I linger on, Elizabeth ages....all into all
and the whole into the whole and all comes together
in the end and the sun rises always
all eventually gathers into all like the waters
flow eventually into the seas, all gathers into all.
All gathers into all.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

I am never alone, actually
The Lord My God Goes Before Me
And God Is With Me, Through Me, and For Me.////
AMEN.////

"Believe in Me"
Believe In Me, And I Will Show You Yet Stranger,
Wilder, More Mysterious and Beautiful and Bizarre Things
Than These.  I Ask Only That Ye Have Faith That I Can,
So That I Can.  If I Can, I Will.  Little Vine Reaching
For The Light...Power In A Dreamer....Believe in me.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

There Is A love and a Faith And A Hope In A Dream.
Cursed and Damned be any that Dare Tread Upon A Dream!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

LEt The Dreams Grow On and On into a Cloud
Let Them Multiply A Million Million Times
Is This Not Divine?  Lord, Am I Alone On The Earth?
I feel so.  Pride beautiful Pride.  And Integrity.  And Faith.  And Love.
  In Jesus' Name,
Amen.///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

A Dream is a Powerful Thing
It is A Spark That Lights A Star
Burning Bright in the Ancient Vacuous Night
Never Underestimate the power of a dream
So Few are dreamers and so rare are our dreams
Hungry little nuzzling means I Love You Too.
So Never Underestimate A Soul With A Dream.
Barnes and Noble doesn't,  They Believe in dreams
In Fact, Oh They Believe in My Own Dreams Lord
Send out all your wild cavalry i will fight them off and off
A Dream is a powerful thing

"Mystery of this Age"
//And, What Of It, Had I
Started Weeping compulsively there
in front of that heartless monitor machine
i wanted to clap my hand over Theodore's mouth in terror
that our thoughtcrimes might be revealed through
this machine, that we might reveal our too-human selves
and, What Of It, Had I
Started Weeping Compusively there
in front of that heartless monitor machine!
What of it!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"We Are Not Hopeless"
There are yet times that
that i feel very small and helpless.
There are times when my futility and joy
seems to be foolishness and then i despair
my heart is all i will ever need, in this life
or in the next!  Let your heart ache and break
and ache and break again and a gain there is no wear
to it to the heart hearts are vulnerable and delicate and fragile
memories are a miracle how did they come up with homes
for all those people rushing around going anywhere and everywhere
it makes me feel lost and i want to hide myself in my house
There are yet times that
that i feel very small and helpless.  Hope and Joy are not futile.
Indeed, Hope and Joy are Not Folly.  Indeed, if one sets a course
and follows upon a dream or a prayer or a star in the night sky---
then mustn't there be yet hope?  Hope for earth?  Validity for mankind?
Oh Lord My Heart aches and it breaks and it aches and it breaks
sometimes i fear i am wounding my physical heart and i feel pain
deep in my soul.  poetry cometh not forth from the brain,
but from the heart. the mind is all very fine, but there is a clearer echo
a nightingale singing in a forest of glass trees piercing the night is the heart
i say this not in vain, not that we lived in vain, not any of us in vain, no lord
and our follies were not laughable.  Indeed, we were the Children Of God
This Holy And Calm Night That We Sailed on a Sea of Dreams.
There are yet times that
that i feel very small and helpless.  We are not hopeless.
No Lord, I Pray thee, that We Are Not Without Hope.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen////

"A Poem Giving Thanks To God"

Lord, You are With me always

Lord, Your Ways are beyond my thinking abilities

Lord, Your Plans are not Our Plans

Lord, They Fed Me When I Was Hungry

And Clothed Me When Needed Clothing

Lord They Gave Me Money, When I Needed Money

And Love, When I needed Love!

This IS a a miracle, God, One miracle that

that I attrubute to you.  I wanted To

To THANK YOU SO MUCH for answering my prayers

Knowing that God Cares is Courage for Any and My Heart

Please Lord Shelter The Homeless

Forgiven Those You Have Not Forgiven, For My Sake

Let Them Into Heaven Whomst thou wouldst cast astray

For My Lord Have Done This In My Sight and Lord,

Oh Lord It Is Well With My Soul!  Thank You Lord God!

In Jesus' Name,

AMEN.

"How Much I Love Theodore"
I Love My Darling Husband Theodore
More than ever More than anyone
More than anything nor any world
The Dreams in His Eyes Keep Me Burning
The Fire In His Heart Keeps Me Alive
There are Many Great Love Stories, and I hope
Our Love Will Go Down In History Somehow
I've Immortalized Our Love In Twenty Books
Oh My Love, How I'd Die For You! The Last
Thing I Want To See When I am Done, Is Your Face
I love thee more than i Could ever contain in my feeble heart
my heart is Breaking For The Vastness Of Love
That I Bear For Theodore It Aches an Agony
That Only Holding Him Close To Me Can Save.
I don't Care a Damn for Riches nor material things
I don't care at all for nature nor the World Itself
I Don't Care A Damn For The Big Wide World
Out There, For In My Home Is Theodore and that is
All That I Care About and All I will Ever Need
In This Life, Or In The Next!  Nor Heaven Nor Hell
I Care Not For Those, I Only Want To Lay In The Earth
Beside My Husband When We are Old And Die
I Want To Be Buried Right Beside Him for Eternity.
That is all I could Ever hope for, in this life and
in the next, is just to lay beside him and hold him
In my Arms!  Lord, I Love Him Madly!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.