Friday, October 30, 2015

"Love and Aging"
And When I Grow Tired And Old,
Will You Be There To Hold Me
Inside The Heaven Of Your Embrace?
We are Getting Older Now My Child
Age Has Tinged Our Leaves and your beard
With Winter, And I look More Tired
Every Day.  Weather-Beaten We Are
Like Sea Driftwood Washed Up On Sand Dunes
And All I Can Think, in this moment, is
Is How Incredibly Much I Just Love You!

Thursday, October 22, 2015

My soul is growing old now
Aging into how life has molded us
Sadness and Joy predominating now
sadness that time has passed us by
joy in how far weve come
Aging is Sadness.  Oh, How I Love thee!
We always said we wanted
To Grow Old Together
Well now that we are i wish that
We were both immortal
And exhaustion keeps seping
into my heart, like it will be
a relief to reach those afterlife shores
life is truly a Journey
I believe there should be a destination
Decay is so cruel that it makes me
wonder if satan isnt the prince of this world
Ashes to ashes dust to dust
Get thee hence Satan
Dancin with my Baby, La, La,
Can't hear you, I'm dancin with my baby!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
"Love"
When he breaks my heart it feels
like an angry fist strangling my
heart choking it angrily and mean
and how helpless i feel my heart
breaking if it were glass it would
shatter this is how he tells me he
loves me-- he orders me around
the house like a maidservant
i know to myself that it is only
his way of keeping himself alive
Because if he werent breaking my heart
then his own heart would be breaking
he's in pain and he take it out
on me, my poor heart yet i
know he is utterly lost and
helpless without me--i am his
mother, wife, sister, best friend,
i keep bread on the table
i know he is crying under the
surface, that it is really his own
heart breaking that is why he comes
home from his horrible job
heartbroken, and takes his pain
out on me Lovingly I help him
To Bear His Load of Pain
That's what it means
to love one another-- to bear
one another's pain.  We are
forever
in jesus' name,
amen.

"Dreamer"
Could one ever express one's heart fully?
No, it seems,,,the heart capsizes
Under weight of emotion...you feel
as though you could never be understood
or found by anyone, you feel alone...
loneliness aches dolerse it aches
a dull throb in the beating heart
so many have more than i and i
i have only dreams...i would rather
have dreams than money anyway
i dream on, alone, without being understood
so many of our artists have lived and died
this way i lay me down beside them
and gather me into the hope of eternity!
Dreamer I Dream On.//
"Tortured"
I was wounded in psychiatric hospitals
again and again have i been tortured
my own species threatens me so badly
so naturally i resolved gradually
to never place my faith in the human race
perhaps that is why i am such a great humanist
they will never, ever, ever ever, ever Learn.

"Being Alone Together"
When you are alone you are safe
nobody is able to hurt you then
when you are alone Solitude is freedom
We seem to be forever alone anyway-
We're born alone, we die alone, live alone
so don't panic when it hits you
with revelation that you are alone
in a crowded room, no matter
how crowded or friendly
One is always alone
Holding your soulmate you are alone
but yet you can be alone together
if you love someone quiet with whom
you can be alone together with
then, you really aren't as alone
As most people who consider
themselves "Social" are alone
and they don't want to realize it

"Being Alive"
Just the sensations of being alive are so sweet
You realize you are a bit lonely in solitude
sometimes conversations can be so reassuring and uplifting
a quiet man who washes dishes
sleeps late, and putters about the house
he speaks so little that your own thoughts
become loud you write them down
it helps the tender mercies of the Lord
When you are married there is peace
if all you want is peace find a way to release
a way to loosen up we can't all carry
the whole world upon one's shoulders
blessed are the meek and the meek are blessed
it feels so good, just being alive
i don't believe anyone would tamper with it
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Fidelity"
She does not ever wait in vain--
--your wife--
I do not ever wait in vain
Theodore comes home every night and
it is enough to survive on Lord
Our Portion is enough Lord Se-lah!
Marriage is forever and life is hard
long days i wait for thee not in vain
Never in vain lord our warm bodies
clasped tightly around arms and legs and
bodies and hair afraid to look one another
how faithful and true to you I am
never giving up or letting go
never losing hope and always there
patiently waiting for you to come home
to me your beloved wife thee my life
i never wait in Vain for Theodore


Saturday, October 17, 2015

Mothers, You are loved
You are appreciated for all
of your unrealized sacrifices
to feed your family and keep watch
as age comes upon you you'll be
kept safe and watm you deserve it
mothers, you'll get your christmas money
and you probably won't buy yourselves anything
with it, you'll make christmases merry
we are wives and mothers, we make
christmases merry.  our husbands can
safely trust in us all of their lives and isnt
that a blessing.  we smile when they
take our love for granted it doesnt hurt
its actually a sign that one is doing a good job
when your husband rests his head on your bosom
after a long day doing manual labor
Mothers, you are loved and appreciated
heaven is for mothers to hold their little ones.
In Jesus Name,
Amen.
Sometimes I wonder if maybe by chance or on purpose,
God has forgotten all about me in my little puddle of home
warmed by the summer sun, i'm grateful for my life
either way, The Lord Provides and We are Grateful
So deeply grateful for this fragile strong Home
I have faith in God to pay the rent each month
I simply feel that, as an older woman, i deserve to be
and will be, provided for.  let me weave my garments
and sell my sashes to the merchant they are of the heart.
"Why Older Women Should Be Modest"
Mothers ought not masquerade as concubines
A Mother and a wife is not a concubine
Reclining in her chair, The Wife is respectable
She doesn't need to advertise her beauty
often mothers and wives are just as beautiful
as their counterparts the young coquettes
we old women are more mature and love
our families more than we want sex or fame
this ripening and maturity is no less beautiful
than the courtesan to the king.  they live lonely lives
always being judged by their looks never from within
if your husband loves and respects you, be at peace.
grow old and find peace in modesty.  we need not 
prove our physical beauty to remain the beautiful women
that we are.  We are the wives and mothers.
We are the ones men put their trust in
Wives build and sustain homes and families
Wives do dishes and plant vineyards
Wives comfort the little ones and their husbands
In A Good Wife everyone finds a Home
Courtesans are like frightened birds on shaky branches
fluttering hence and thence, but never feeling
safe or secure.  If you are a wife or mother,
Be proud.
"Women are strange"
Women change you
They rearrange you
They Will Confuse You
And Mainly Use You
They'll even lie to you
and usually despise you
and call you strange
and when youre rearranged,
the'll wander off, giving up on you
and finally they will leave you alone.
Women are very strange
don't waste your time.
amen
"Please Don't Judge Me"
I know exactly who i am
maybe you don't understand me
so don't judge me then because
i am coming to know myself
better and better all the time
the heart is a lonely hunter
and when the heart is sad its done
nothing left to do but enjoy life
passing you by like clouds
in a long endless summer blue sky.
So don't try to interpret who i am
i am certain that i know much
much better and more clearly than you
ever will or can or could hope to.
so if you see me do not judge me
i have done noone any wrong
my life ahead is long i had so much
to look forward to that never came true
so don't judge me, just pity me.
Medicate me and let me cry.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Faraway Heart

This is a Faraway Heart, You'll never find me again
i am hovering now among the dreams passed
life is past and all is lost and i hope for nothing
life is long and sweet, how i enjoy the flowers of life
treasure every precious moment washing over you
because life is fleeting and soon it will be gone forever
we don't really know what life is but its what weve been given
idly by i wait for an answer to come to me, again
exhaustion from a long life, i am retiring now, aging
all i ask of god are my memories, put me out to pasture
too weary and sad to work, let me write you a song though
as i age i find i write the sweetest love songs
songs of things that will never be again
and dreams that were once so longed for but which will
never ever ever come true...and isn't that a miracle somehow,
that we came all this way only to have the game rained out
and we all go home wet and soggy, sad and dismayed,
somehow grateful for dry shoes and seeking our cars to go home.

Friday, October 16, 2015

"Dream"
I was trying to ask a man to run with me
 through the rainforest and chase wild birds,
And i knew i was asleep...suddenly like a ghost
Theodore my husband came. He sat on a bench
behind me with his his arms folded, silent
and i knew what i had to do, i told the man
to go on without me, and laughing turned
around to my husband, and as i looked
into his eyes i woke up, and i was alone
in my bed with a stomachache from overeating
and i wished that theodore was there.
in Jesus Name,
Amen.

Futility

Subject to fate we are
Unable to alter our destinies
Life feels so hopeless by now
Hope never announced itself
I don't want my unborn children
To ever know hunger nor suffering
No matter how hard I pray and try
Heaven will not conceive a child in me
I cannot force my body to work manual labor
Age seeps in mocking my hopes
I have not given up completely
But doubt by now whether my dreams
Of having a child will ever come true.
In Jesus name,
Amen

Being alone is wonderful

Everyone
...every single person... Needs
To know that
Being alone
And the delicious sweetness of being
Alone, is not wrong as Facebook umbrella s them all. I pity them that they belong
Honestly I'm glad for my freedom
I have my mother's free spirit
And I love to be alone. Alone is
Better than okay.
Alone is wonderful

Rose

Rose weeps in cold rain
Night wind beating poor blossom
Live on through this night!

We Never die if we believe in Jesus

We nevernever die if we believe in Jesus Christ
We awaken to life eternal
Don't be fooled by Satan at fear of dying
The grave is not where our souls go
We ascend to heaven
Don't be fooled by darkness
And walking, walk in the
Light. I am not afraid
It is a chance I'm happy
To take.
Amen.

Paths through sin

God leads us on long paths through sin,
We must never forsake nor be tempted in,
But fix our eyes on blessed cavalry cross
At the end of life, for eternity in heaven!

A poem for Angie

Life is incredibly brief and precious
Treasure it while life is with you
We are spirits in a material world.
We all have to die. The Bible says that
Death is the shepherd of all mankind.
Don't fear it. Enjoy life and dream of heaven.
Thy sweet soul will surely endure, for
Pure goodness sake...for all eternity.
Thee art the light of the world, says Jesus.
He went to prepare a place for you
In the kingdom of heaven. You too shall carry his cross...for you
Are a saint. Set thy heart at peace, love thy family. Be at peace daughter of God.
Hold the pierced hands of Jesus until the last breath...and Thee shalt never know death!
In Jesus name.
Amen lord.

Jesus isn't that cruel.

Jesus how can you let my friend die?
No I don't. No, I don't understand your 
Ways. I don't understand at all.
Jesus if you died on the cross fur us,
Then why are you taking my friend.
You tell me
My ways are not your ways.
Yet I do not accept that answer.
Jesus you are a great healer...
Why won't you heal my friend Angie?
I love her, lord. Please JesusJesus just heal her
Jesus name,
Amen

Jesus smiled at me today

Jesus smiled at me today
And I knew 
Inside my
Heart
That 
Angie
Isn't going to die!
I know he works miracles and
He is tickling me in my heart that
Angie is going to be just
Fine! She will overcome cancer
The doctors will have wonderful news
Soon. Because I know that
Jesus
Isn't
That
Cruel!
Jesus smiled at me today

Learn to be Little

The world is big and free
Knowing each of us all
Are little and insignificant
Yet lord, we are all happy
The behemoths and dictators,
The singers and stars, don't
Understand nor appreciate 
The peace and joy
In being little 
If you can, try to find
A place you can gather
With similar people
That haven't yet met
And a loving home with
A loving spouse, and
A loving family, and
Goals, projects and dreams
But remember you must not make
Your dreams more important
Than your life and your
Loved ones. Love
Love is all that matters
You can't force effort
Fame is meaningless
Learn to be little, and
Then you will not be alone
On this earth!
Amen.

Our National Faith, or, salvation

America clings to Jesus
All the more fervently, in these
Alarming times with rumors of wars
Flying in silent hearts too afraid
To escape our lips
Much less our thoughts
Like Frightened birds
Our national faith in Jesus
Christ in general as a whole
Will preserve our troubled nation
When all else fails yet we
Trust in Christ
And in this faith is solidarity
And it is yet enough lord
To see our nation through
Like a star guiding a sailing ship,
Each individual heart prays
To Jesus with all our hearts
We may not understand worldviews
And yet Jesus is enough
Jesus is not one to disappoint!
Hallelujah! It may well be
A miracle of God, our
National faith.
In Jesus name,
Amen!

doubt and pain

In my moments
Of doubt and pain
I cling to my faith
Jesus will not forsake me
Even if even I myself
Am too dim and afraidafraid
Smothered in doubt and pain,
Too consumed by darkness
ToTo venture my heart to dream! 
To dream, of stars and flowers,
Roots and shoots and tubers,
Leaves, and stems and buds of Blossoms
That tenderly press themselves firmly
Pushing up up through darkness
Seeking the light of God and goodness!
In moments of doubt and pain,
Yet Jesus waters this flower with hope
Looking up at the stars in the morning sky
One cannot help but to dream!
Poetry cometh thus, with hope and
Dreaming.
In Jesus name,
Amen!

Finding dreams

When I am feeling low and down
And Darkness gathers all around
Unable to admit I was losing hope
And dreams all lost and gained in scope,
From fitful nightmares I suddenly rise
And leapt to gaze at my beloved sun rise!
The stars were vast and bright with hope
Dawn slarlit skies my forgotten dreams awoke
So when at times you forget just who you are,
Just run outside and gaze into the stars!
The stars are dreams themselves, and prove
Victory for mercy, peace and love!
In Jesus name
Amen.

To sustain you

May there always be angels
To light your paths and guide you
Unwitting souls that believe
In the grace of God and minister
To the sick if only in prayer.
May Jesus Christ go before you
Above you, beneath Thee, and all around
Fleeting butterflies of fractured light
And the walls breathing like a mother
May the milk white moon guide you
And the stars not neglect to shine upon thy face. May God cradle Thee so safe and warm and may you never die but rather
Escape bodily form that is sick and become
An angel of light. May all around you. Be
Warmth and giggling and joys of Christmas
Day so sweet. May the Lord go before you and softly, gently, shut the gates behind you!
May you receive everlasting life.
In Jesus name, 
Amen.

24/7

Heaven is open 24 hours a day,
Seven days a week,
365 days a year
Forever
Every day
I get a little bit closer

God

God goes to the peir at the beach
To get an ice cream sandwich
God buys a pair of sunglasses
Because they look good on him
God gazes at the breaking waves
And numbers every grain of sand
God watches little crabs scurry along
He feels so lonely. Where can he find
A place to rest himself, a motel with a tvtv
A good night's sleep and a ride back home.
God is lonelier than I could ever explain.
There are endless things I can do in life
To comfort God. I can take him on a date
I see God in everything around me. 
It all leads my heart to God the source of all.
In Jesus name,
Amen

Autumn

The sun warms my frail body
The leaves are turning into
Golden and red mottled lace
And falling from their branches.
I want to pick apples and dress 
Up for Halloween the children
Will be knocking on our door soon
Asking for some candy in their
Costumes. I water the porch plants
Crinkle my eyes and nose and
My toes with the feeling of being
Alive. Autumn is come to our home
Embrace every autumn breeze, one
Only recieves a few in a lifetime.
And so it is autumn, once again!
Amen

To God

I came
To your monument, God
I brought you white roses
And left with a sigh
Hoping you had not
Forgotten me.
I cried a little for time lost.
It was a grey rainy day, cold.
I wish you had been there.
I came to your monument, God.
It seems I shall always be coming
Hence.
I wish you had been there.
You could have helped me to cry.
Amen.
Hands
My heart is locked
And Theodore Christopher Land has
The only key. He loves me.
He nests inside my heart
Like a tiny baby bird
Who hatched inside my heart
He is the only man
I will ever love
And have ever loved
He holds my heart in his
Hands.
Amen

Monday, October 12, 2015

I'm realizing that
I cannot comprehend
Evil as it appears
In humanity because
I cannot fathom
Evil to the degree
That it exists
In my fellow man.
In evil, I'm dumb.
I comprehendeth
It not. Nor do
I want to. Maybe
That is why I am
So brave. I cannot
Understand evils depth
Nor breadth
Nor its ways. I am
Dumbfounded.
Amen.
'Crying'
When you feel like crying
And most of all want to cry
Because the world is just too hard
And life is mean and fleeting
And everyone mistreats you
Because you are little or different
Or somehow special from the rest
And you are outcast shunneed and forbidden to live a normal, humane
Life, when you feel small, unimportant
Looked down on with disgust that hurts,
And you want to fly but are forbidden
By normal people who hold keys
To the locks of life and hope and love
When you suffer....remember...
Remember the baby Jesus born
In humble manger, and try to endure
Pray to our saviour, for
Blessed are the meek, and woe be unto them who would persecute you.
Amen.
Dream, dream, my baby,
While the world is young
Dream thy whole life through
Nestling warm sleep softly love
And I shall dream of you!
Dream until thy life pass by,
Dream and hope and wonder why
Heaven sent Thee on a mission,
To suppose thy own sweet visions!
In Jesus name,
Amen
Fear is the enemy of hope
I dare to dream tis no madness
Mayhap dreaming leads me to you
Not knowing all life's meaning
Dreams are the cherubim of hope
Dreams are like the angels of God
Significant in their sign that God is good
Hope and tears and prayers all mingling
Hark! I hear the stars a singing!
In Jesus name,
amen