"Plain and Simple Faith"
Plain and Simple Faith Fuels Our Lives
I Love Him and I pray so hard, i really believe that
JESUS CHRIST THE SON OF GOD IS DRIVING THEODORE'S CAR,
or a gaurdian angel....because......
we should have died in a wreck by now if
if it werent for
THE PURE AND SIMPLE GRACE OF GOD
Pure and simple faith.  it's why we believe.  it's why we're so poor.
Jesus is driving me too.  How do i know?
Well I do not have to fear the devil, because,
PURE AND SIMPLE FAITH is why we exist
why we're still alive after all these years
and i verily believe, my husband could
Walk On Water through Jesus Christ
If It Would
Bring
Him
Home
To
Me.
Jesus makes the world go around.
Faith.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"Heart"
Life isn't about the destination at all.
It's about the journey.  what you did with it
Life goes on after death forever so why does death matter?
I know my mind is a ghost town and empty, and that
my heart is all i will ever need, in this life
or the next!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen.////

"Victory"
Have you seen her, Victory?
I see Her In Myself Every Day
When I am all afraid and in Despair
I stand tall and pray and believe because
I Believe In Victory.  I Have Seen Her
And I Can See That She Is Really Me.
I Would Fight For The Victory I Stand For
I Would Fight For The Victory I represent
I would fight for My Stand Here I Have Taken
I Would Endure, and Perservere, Come What May!
I Have Glimpsed Victory, and I love Her, and She is Me
And I Would Give My Own Life For My Self.
I Carry the sacred crest of Victory deep within
It is a light in darkness that will Not Be Put Out
I Believe In This Truth and Bet My Life On It Daily
I Believe in Victory.  I Believe in myself, the Victory Inside me.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"Humble Prayer."
Theodore, I Pray that I will be able to
To see you through this life
To see thee through to eternal life
Death is but the blink of an eye
To Walk with thee in the narrow path of righteousness,
To enjoy my life with you,
And To walk together with you into the next life.
AMEN.

"Fame"
Fame is simply fickle
One Generation adores an author, while
The next Generation doesn't even regard authors at all
To be a great author involves, naturally, the hope of being appreciated
Within or after one's lifetime, by others.  Sometimes oneself is one's
Most crucial critic, and one can read one's own
Works in bed to lull oneself to sleep, then fie on fame!
Fame is like fire, it burneth not where we wish
it simply rageth like a passion that is neither
fair to mortal nor regards the ones that idolize the famous
Immortalized to one generation, forgotten
by the next, and finally lost forever!
Oh Fickle Fame!  That Tempteth me of thee
i ask only crumbs, a reader here and there,
and that Fame cannot seem to spare, so a pox on fame!
Enjoy the craft, the writing as an art right now, writing
enjoying the fruits of the labor are sweet to me
and fickle fame Shall not have the
last laugh over my yearnings and prayers!  I hope not for Fame;
Therefore I hope not In Vain!

"Prayer"
I dream of a day when we are no longer in danger of death
I dream of teacups and teapots and tea without sugar to no end
I dream of sunshine through lace curtains and paper flowers to no end
I dream of my skin growing softer and even more beautiful with every day that i age
I dream of a small, comfortable cottage with good, comfortable foods
I dream of the possessions which are so dearly owed to me, elegant and fine things
I dream of savouring every precious morning with my Theodore and waiting every night
I dream of cinching my waist a little tighter someday, and going out in flowing dresses to dinner
I dream of a little cottage garden and a pet or two, a stepson to watch him slowly grow up and visit
I dream of bird feeders and seed and birdbaths made of porcelain and angels sculpted in resin
I dream of slow-cooking dinners on sunday afternoons and there always being a steak for theodore's meal
I dream of recipe cards and little tea parties and new friendships, just light friendly ones with love
I dream of visiting the ocean and the mountains and taking my husband to the local art museum
I dream of writing poetry every day and little by little accomplishing much
I dream of cleaning the house daily and visiting the doctor yearly, with perfect health
I dream of living to my husband's full lifetime, and my own lifetime, full and real.
In Jesus' NAme,
Amen

"Mortality"

When I am gasping for breath and lost,

I draw deep within my own soul and there

In the still calm cold quietly running waters

that is the wellspring of my soul, it seems--

when i cannot breathe for want of air

and fear closes in like a coffin or tiny 

windowless room, i close my eyes

and dwell in the the deep caverns pools 

of my cavernous heart.  Do all hearts bleed

Does my soul have a keeper is it the one i love

and is it god above and when i am no more

and to my tomb there is no hinged door

oh lord what will i have to answer for

and will is reach a destined shore

will what is left behind be treasured or

are we all so doomed, we mortals, thus to die?

"The Pain"
Heartache As A Disease
I Suffer From A Chronic
Aching Heart.  It Breaks.
Aches.  Expands.  Breaks.
Some People, like me,
Are In Too Much Pain
Physical, emotional, mental
spiritual and other forms of
Pain.  It is sadness.  Depression.
When you've been fighting a war
that is so insignificant as to to merely
exist, live, to survive is the struggle,
well, one can't be expected to work!
You cannot hold a job when you are in
this much pain.  You cant.  I Can't The only Way
I can Work
Is To Express Myself
In Poetry.  Penniless, yet utterly
rewarding, for my own poems
are a soothing balm to my agony that no
other piece of writing could hope to heal.
I wonder that if I find my own writing
to be so incredibly soothing, maybe other people
might relate to it
as well.  It Cries out pain.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"Strength of Heart"
My Gift Is Not Poetry
My Gift is not Wisdom
My Gift is not Virtue
My Girt Is Never Intelligence
My Gift Is Not Beauty
My Gift Is Not Faith
My Gift Is Not Courage
My Gift Is My Heart
My Gentle Heart Invincible to Conquer Death
the Grave, The Christ, The Heart of God!
My Heart is all I have
in the end i only have the gift of my heart
and there is only one soul on earth who has it too
my husband has the gift of his heart
my husband
my husband's heart is the only heart i've met
that i loved and admired and worshipped
even more than my own!
Strength Of Heart.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Courage"
Courage has genius and power and magic in it
when you can't work you can't and you would die for that
and that is when one is grateful for one's great courage
beautiful, brave, purehearted, stupid, ingenious, funny courage!
Courage like a light!  Oh Light a match!  Courage feircer than any lion
Courage to possible madness infinite courage to the point of stupidy
Courage!  Pure beautiful dumb damned Courage!  That all you need in life
your health, a roof over your head, someone to love, and courage to endure
courage is a way of life and its beautiful and burning bright in my heart and its stubborn
courage cannot be moved it is hope and a light in the night it is to dare to go against the crowd
to be different.  to suffer.  to think.  it takes courage.  life takes enough courage
Courage!  Because Babydolls, You better betcha your homework and your life, that
You're Gonna need A Whole Lot Of Courage In Place Of Fear, Just To Survive!
Courage.
in jesus' name,
amen.////

"Blood From My Veins"
Here, Take Some Blood From My Vein
You Get Your Science books and your needles
And Draw my blood out of my soul until i die
or until you feel better, you feel satisfied with the evil
when the evil is sufficient in your eyes, stop.
i would rather give blood and be tortured
than to distort my mind and soul by doing homework.
That is why i flunked out of college.  Here,
I'll roll up my sleeve.  Just Keep the Math Away!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

"Sisters Song"
My baby sister and me
Pinkies Clasped
Is Very Fragile Yet
Stronger than magic
If any danger in time
it will grow always there
like a light in darkness
danger can be prevented
when sisters
hold hands
loosely across the country
yet there is strength
in the bond
maybe
maybe we'll survive!////
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

"Like The Moon"
Theodore you are the feminine
you are so like the milk-white moon in its glory
all frightened and shaded, pale as light itself
so frightened you are, a lamppost in a terrible darkness
people believe in you, Theodore in your brevity of sin and wealth of courage
you truly have no fear, child!  and would not know, were you even willing, how to
Sin.  How To Back Down.  you do not know how to sin
i pray every day not that i can become more like you for
you are perfect to me in truth-- rather, i pray that i might
better reflect your grace and glory.  In this i am feminine
i am the Moon to your sun and you are the Moon to my sun!
I Love You Theodore never forget that i love you so,
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"To My Little Boy"
Little Tiny Furious Gentle
Fists, Furious to Be So
Gentle---Ah child of God!
This Child Given Me By God,
I Shall Care For Him All Through Life
And Lay Me Down Beside Him
When I Close My Eyes To Sleep
Little Angry sweetheart Boy,
My little frustrated child, Yes
Yes I'm sure the Sun And Moon Adore You
Yes I'll Pluck Them and Lay Them Before You
Little Lamb is Nuzzling Sleepy Tight
While I Burn Thickets In The Forests
Of The Dark Tremulous Night!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.////

"My Husband's Lullaby Land"
 My Baby Lamb, He
Comes To Me
And Takes My Hand
And Leads Me To A Land
Where He Cannot Explain
In Words But Can Watch
On TV With Me, His World
He Has His Own World, and
He Kind of Nudges Me After
We've Been Up all night, night
after endless fascinating night, and
He kind of seems to ask me, "Mama,
How're We Gonna Fight This Monsters?"
 and "Mama, what do you think of this World?"
He asks me by being silent and i think
about it for quite some time, and now i will say
"Young Master, It Is A Beautiful Cruel and Wild World,
With Body Parts Flying All Over The Place! The Dark Ages,
I'd Say;" which makes him giggle, and he
lays his little head on my chest and
breathes, in...out...in...out....in....out....
and Finally, Heavily, Drowses Sleepily
Into Deep and Somnolent
Sleep
At Last!
Jesus' Name,
Amen!////

"You Are Beautiful"
Don't even worry about your physical appearance
it's what's on the inside that counts
and don't ever let anyone tell you you're less than someone else
dont ever let anyone tell you theyre better than you
they may tell you, but know
it's a lie
You Are Beautiful
God Loves You
More Than You'll Ever Know
He Loves You For You
You Are Beautiful.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"God Has A Plan"
I Know My God.
I Know He Has Something planned
I Believe in Him
No Matter What May Come,
Still I must Remember To Have Faith in Him.
I Must Not Betray My God.
Oh God, My Deliver!  Thy Rod
and Staff They Comfort Me,
Your Grace Is doing things
i cannot understand yet i trust in
God's Greater Plan, no matter what
may happen to me!  There is a reason
for every suffering under the sun, and these
are not in vain.  Selah!  God
God Has His Eye On The Sparrow.
He Lifts Up The Meek And Trodden Upon.
He Scatters the Proud and Destroys the Wicked
Where the meek and trodden upon are found
There is hope in our suffering, and we must remember
Our God Is With Us, The Meek and Trodden Upon.
Selah!  Praise the Lord!
 Amen.

"Do not curse God, But Know He Loves The Meek"
You Will Find, if you are
 special
and anyone reading this would have to be
 special
to have the patience to read my humble
poems, so one would assume that thee art;
special
That to navigate by the stars as it were is to be
a dreamer
to value oneself according to oneself and those one admires;
to exceed various limits without difficulty,
to dare limits with or without the capacity to see oneself through
takes courage, and genius, and a good heart.
To Strive
to be anything out of the ordinary is to achieve greatness
ordinary people pass me by and i know that they are ordinary because
-Because, they have absolutely no troubles fitting in
with one another, there is nothing extraordinary about them,
nothing horrid or exquisite, nothing that would leave oneself
an outcast, like me.  It seems only the homeless have the capacity to dream.
i took a path less followed upon, at the risk of the embarrassment of God Himself
for creating such an ordinary and uninteresting world, and therefore
i must suffer all his anger and wrath at being emberrassed of my existence
by tormenting outcast and leaving me alone and marked and cursed and ugly
but it is a mark of my excellence which embarrasses God so, i muse sadly--
and therefore, my excellence is all i have left to cling to in the gale.
God would never hurt me.... in fact, it his His tenderest mercies that
are our Sufferings.  God Loves Me and All People.
God Has A Plan.  When Things Are Difficult
 or You Feel Alone, do not blame God.  Instead, look to him.
Pray to him.  He Has His Eye On The Sparrow.
He Will Not See His Children ..... His Eye on the sparrow....
cling to god and have faith instead!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

"I'm No God!"
I Am No God
Not Your God Nor My Own
But A Soul am i, Hinged To Flesh And Bone
No Lord, I Am No God!  And should
those be my last words, let them fall
like fallen icicles amongst thy bloody caverns,
Oh Lord, be this that i was mad enough
to dream that
I Was A Poet, but Yet Never Still to claim
to be a God!  And wouldst the rust hie here
in my ribcage defeated, i want my God To Hear
Of How This Truth Broke Unafraid and Agonized and Clear!
No Lord, I Am No God!  I Never Even
Wanted To Be A God.  I Would Rather Rot
Among My Brothers and Sisters the Trees and Creatures
Than to blot out God In A Blur of Hatred!
No.  I'm no God!
IN JESUS' NAME,
Amen.////

"Child of God I Weep For Thee"
Ah Child Of God I weep for thee
Whose feet touched mediterranean shores many times
And Scorneth Wealth and Statues as flies to Honey
Ah Child of God I weep for thee
When Worlds Crumbling down, down, fallen stars
and a ring through thy nose not on thy finger as it should be
Ah Child of God I weep for thee
Whose disease is a blight in the sight of all
and what disease they claim it be they very soul!
Ah Child of God I weep for thee
Long shall you wait on heaven's glassy shore
Long shall you gaze upon the open sea for your love
Ah Child Of God I Weep For Thee
When poverty engulfs thee like a worm upon a hook
and thee art mocked a taking thy fate with thy poor brave husband
Ah Child Of God I weep for thee
Yet there there is something the cards have not yet played
In Heaven thy light restored, and on earth may thy work be ever displayed!
In JEsus' Name,
Amen.

"I Finally Wrote You a Song"
I Saw your Face in a Flower, a purple daisy
I stayed there staring at you for a million years
When I awoke from your daydream everyone was dead
from old age, a million years can do that, and the world was gone
i just had this flower, and in it i saw your face, and it was
it was the most beautiful face in all the universe and although
the stars wheeled about our heads and all the natural disasters raged
and a million years passed along with a million civilizations
yet they were nothing to me your face was in a flower
and one day the flower whispered to me, "I belong to you"
and so I realized i belonged to you to and my flower
was all i needed to carry me back into immortality.
In JEsus' Name,
Amen.//

Malady

A Feeling of Loss, of Vaccum Displaced
A Longing to stay alive and recover from disease
sickness woe and malady all discombobulated into a nauseaous oneness
dizzy the ceiling seems to spin woe is mortality
"if i make it through this...", i think....and pray i will
they laugh at my disease and blame it on me
but the malady is worse than their blame and cruelty
and it is doing more damage to the body than to the soul
sickness deprives the body of living and the soul of dreaming
a lazy fan twirling gently, ominously, in a hot room
and flies settle on dirty crusts of old bread 
the malady is taking me i feel as though i were sinking under a wave
and being carried out to sea, never to return
praying to the Gods and wishing i was not a mortal!

"If We Survive This"
If We Survive this i will live
my life in bliss with Theodore
i will write nearly every day of my life
i will be grateful for every second
that i am given, washing over me
like snow, pure white forest snow
settling on a steady pine bough.
gathering momentum and mass
with the addition of every snowflake
that my soul, a prism, refracts, alone
you cant make people love you
you can't find love it comes to you
if people don't love you that is no loss
homage i think they should pay to God
I am busy praying and i feel the love of God.

"Hope"

When people write poetry they pray

and light shines forth like a fire

We say to ourselves, how am I going to do this?

When we attempt achievement naturally --

for greatness was never won easily!

The sound of syllables

is an echo within the heart residing in inner peace and hope

which is in the effort; the victory is God's

and when one watches the wind worrying the water

or tousling the trees, a Poet cannot help but feel

The Love of God!  

"Horizon"
I Dream of Seeing The Horizon
The edge of the world possibly at the sea
i dream of a sky full of stars
everywhere you look there will be stars
and wind, and warmth, and water
i dream of a horizon you can gaze into
and dream of your destiny there
i dream of seeing the horizon line of the earth
then i will know that there is still hope
trapped in a building in a crowded city,
you cannot go outside the only life you can know
are the plants you grow on your porch---
but i dream of a clear, open sky with horizons stretching
as far as the eye can see
I dream of Hope and freedom
and if i keep praying to God, I believe,
i have faith, that my husband theodore and i
will live to see that day, when we are free
i dream of seeing the horizon Someday.
Then I will know there is hope for mankind.
In JEsus' NAme Amen.

"Why I Believe in JEsus"
I Believe Because the night is cold, fierce, lonely and wild.
I believe because the wind listeth not where it bloweth,
and the wind maketh me feel alive on my cheeks like
the breath of God.  I believe because of flowers blooming.
I believe because I am still alive, and grateful for this life
I believe because my heart leads me thence i believe blindly
i was not born a believer i converted around the age of eighteen
or twenty and that was because i was terrified to live my life alone
and jesus came to me in my illness and spoke kind words he
he was my crutch when i could not see he is the only one who is kind
to me.  I believe.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.